The Official Writing Challenge
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Some great descriptive work. I liked the imagery of "moon glows an eerie red, like a demon’s eye"
I love the descriptions in this piece. I also like how the piece keeps you guessing - I thought I knew where this was going, but it wasn't confirmed until the very end. Gives one a lot to contemplate! Nice job.
Excellent description. Realistic dialogue. Reads like a scene from a novel or movie. Great job!
Eerie, haunting, gripping. Well done!
From the title, and the first paragraph, the story was given away-and I felt I recognized the story. Still compelling, descriptive, good characterization, and a very good entry! God bless ya, littlelight
Great piece of writing.
I would like to apologize about the comment "felt I recognized the story"--
No offense intended. I should have said, I could relate to Doomsday prediction at the end of the story having heard so many people talk about it. I felt myself the story had a predictable end, and that's what happened. Great story though! No intent for it to be taken otherwise. God bless ya, littlelight
I feel you did a great job of portraying the reality of the Tribulation! I enjoyed reading this.
Suspenseful and a little frightening when you realize this could be the truth SOON!
Chilling. Very good writing as well as a good read.
I was glued all the way! Great read!
This is a great scene. I love this sort of writing... great to see some pieces moving in this direction! SInce I like it so much, I will pick a bit at it. First, try to avoid first person when the main character dies. I always stop to think "Who wrote this if he's dead?" Second, try to avoid adverbs... use a stronger verb. Adverbs detract. Again, a very nice scene and I love the dark and brooding mood. Excellent!
Facinating! Good job!
Congratulations, Crista! Wow - this was one chilling piece.
Well done, Christa. Hard to keep the reader in suspense when they know the 'story' but you did it well. Love your descriptions, gave me a real sense of place and atmosphere. Yeggy
Crista, congratulations on your excellent win. You are most definitely on a roll. Love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)
Crista, congratulations on your win! I enjoyed your great use of imagery, description and suspense. You set the mood from the beginning and kept it going till the end. Although the topic is a familiar one, I don't believe it can be told enough. You should seriously consider turning this into something longer. I do agree with Maxx. First person isn't the best choice if the protagonist is going to die. In a longer piece you could experiment a little, maybe even use multiple viewpoints if it was long enough. Keep up the great writing!
nice descriptions- a very solid piece- moving- thanks
Wow! Vivid descriptions. Compelling piece. Great story.
Wow.... uh, wow.
A deserved win. Creepy and you brought it all to life.
Certainly a page turner! Loaded with intrigue, mystery, violence and death...and kept me on the edge of my seat (if I'd been in a Movie Theatre)! A well deserved Ribbon, Crista! Brilliant writing!...and a "special" thank you.