The Official Writing Challenge
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I loved this paragraph:
Gripping tight the handle, she gave the door a firm push and entered in. She scanned the hallway, empty now because she was late. Lockers lined the pristine floors, all standing at attention. Florescent lights glared at her, demanding her to give account. Ugh, what am I doing? She hesitated before finding the principle’s office to retrieve her class schedule. Great writing here!

Great story. I'm glad you ended with the boy's story about how someone who stood up for him because I wanted the girl to be brave and stand up for her brother. Maybe he'll give her the courage she needs!
05/11/09
Awww, this was so sweet. What a great lesson woven into some fantastic writing...well done!
05/11/09
I really like this. I think you showed what many kids / teens go through very well. And the way you ended it with forgiveness and hope...really great!
05/11/09
Loved this. GO Band Geeks! I know for a fact that the music kids stick up for each other and the passion with which this was written makes me think you were a band geek as well. Great job! PS: It takes one to know one.
05/11/09
Yes, most of us can remember this struggle. But, I have to admit, I'm not as good with dealing with people who have physical or mental limitations as I want to be. I work at it. It is a true gift to know how to handle it with ease.
Great story. Good lesson.
Mona
05/12/09
I like this. :) I like the way you ended it with her having to think about what Kevin said. Well-written!
This piece captures the longing of kids wanting to belong.

I think you meant "fluorescent" instead of "florescent", which refers to flowers. It's very minor, though, in this well told story.

I like your MC's mentor. What a great kid to pay it forward.

Thumbs up!
05/12/09
I'm so glad Anne found a friend, and I think she'll meet a lot of good kids in band... especially with Kevin leading the way. Sweet story and nice characterizations!
Nicely written. I am so glad that both found true friends. Well done.
05/13/09
Excellent. I loved the way you described the school as she entered - so vivid and crisp (totally trusting those words girl!) I felt her hesitance, her fears - I nearly gulped as I read the part where she opened the door! The ending was great, heartfelt. If anything, the end felt a bit rushed, but maybe I just wanted to linger in Anne's new-found belonging. Great Job!
05/13/09
Hey, Karls. GREAT job! Really! Love the way you started this piece and the way it flowed. Confident writing. I agree...you are really growing!
Yay, you! :)
This story flowed smoothly and had a great lesson at the end. You truly are growing in your writing, Karlene. Keep writing stuff like this and you'll be in masters before you know it.