The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
05/11/09
What a beautiful story. I LOVE the GRACE "spelled bold and plain across the door." You have a lot of good things in this, like the search for ways to get inside, and then the "solitary entrance…well lit." Your contrast of being "born on the outside" and then "being born on the inside" is great!
This was a great creative idea for the topic and was beautifully written. What a wonderful message!
You made us see your MC well and feel her emotions--good characterization. I liked the mentor and how he made a change in her life.
05/13/09
Except a man be born again...

Hard for us to understand prior to; the man emerges.

Lots to think about in this story.

mona
05/13/09
You had me wondering at the beginning where you were going with this story, but you have a lot of good truths here. I liked the line "Distractions all around like choices at an ice cream shop – a flavor for every taste..." very well-written!
Ooh, I liked this. The more I read, the more I was drawn in to find out who "I" was and where "in" was. Then you gently carried me over the threshold with your MC. Incredible work.
05/14/09
"The idea that there even was somewhere to be in was buried deep. Forgotten. Ignored. Every once in awhile a flash of the steady life inside would cross your vision. Then poof, you were on to the next thing."

This paragraph explains well the odd blindness of the soul that, though created by God, stumbles through life not really seeking Him. Lots of great truths in this story. I like the analogy very much.

05/15/09
Nice title! Such simple, profound truths. Isn't it wonderful? So wonderful!! :)Love the straight forward writing style and voice in this piece.
Great job!