The Official Writing Challenge
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This really gives the reader something to think about. It must be a terribly lonely feeling to be in and out of consciousness and unable to communicate. I like the way remembering the Scriptures brings peace. Well done.
05/07/09
This certainly captures what I know people must feel trapped within themselves. This is amazing, so very realistic and with a hopeful ending. I love the last lines best of all.
05/09/09
Excellent view of what it must feel like to be trapped inside yourself--maybe in a coma. I like the way the MC went from panic mode to a place of peace once the focus was on God. I expect to see this in the winner circle.
05/09/09
Just beautiful. This truly is a hope-filled piece of writing. It reminds me of of Ps. 139, particularly vs.2

You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.

and vs.7

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?

Very well done!
The message and comforting truths expressed in this well-written story is relevant no matter the state of their consciousness - comatose or not. Your title aptly speaks to how we often find ourselves trapped by the outside world and away from God's peaceful grace and assurances.
05/12/09
Thank you for sharing this well-written, heart-wrenching story. It felt like I was there with the MC, feeling the terror and anguish. I do like the hope it gives at the end. It reminds me to pray for a friend in Sweden who was severely burned a couple months ago. He was and still remains in and out of consciousness.
Wow. This hit me to the core. Awesome.
Patty
05/13/09
This is a beautiful tribute to your pastor's wife. You describe so well the desperation and then the peace this person experiences. I will be praying for her, too!
05/13/09
Very powerful and well written. I'll be praying for your pastor's wife.
05/14/09
When my brother-in-law was in a coma for three months, we often wondered just what he was thinking of--did he hear us? Could he feel us touching him? We talked and prayed and sat by his bedside. He DID wake up, and it was amusing and slightly weird feeling, to hear him tell us that he never heard us at all and just thought he was sleeping! It was very disconcerting for him to realize, though, that he had lost three months of time. I'll be praying for your pastor's wife--she's in there and it sounds as though she's OK. Praying she comes out of it like Merv did.
05/14/09
Touching, powerful story. Loved the Scriptures, and the last line was priceless. Wonderfully done!
A lovely reminder of how precious God's Word is. Thank you for that.