The Official Writing Challenge
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08/01/05
Creepy! I get it about the suicide... the portal wasn't real; he was imagining it, and in reality he jumped right out the window! Very cool story. Good job!
I get it, too. But I didn't get the point. I would like some hope, some bit of God in the story. But it was well written and fasinating!
08/02/05
Good story. I see the very important warning here - not to heed to deceitful voices. Great writing.
This seemed to mirror the thinking of someone I know and love - someone who has been duped by New Age philosophy. It reinforces for me that without the Truth as a guide, humanity can only respond to circumstances. This is dark, but the understated message is powerful: the mind of a lost person who does not know Christ falls prey to counterfeit hope and distortion. Excellent job!!
08/02/05
I think I could have a good shot at who the writer is. (he-he) What a dark message this held for this man and for others BEWARE!
God bless ya, littlelight
Dark! Scary reminder of dangers of New Age religion. Did start to wonder how it linked to the topic, but you brought that in nicely towards the end.
08/05/05
Creative and creepy! Just the way I like it once in a while. You always manage to deliver a treat! :)
08/05/05
As a life-long scifi fan -this was fun :) Nice take on the topic!
08/05/05
ps- yes I did get that it was all in his head - fun in the creative way you wrote it :)
08/06/05
Oooh..killer opening...killer ending it seems too ;)
08/06/05
Supreme suspense, fear, sympathy for his delusion, hopelessness, despair all brought out in the story. Flowed well. I would like to see it re-written without the 'was' words. IMHO. GREAT JOB!
08/06/05
Very descriptive writing as always. The romantic in me wanted the portal to be that he stepped through the portal and asked someone out for dinner or something of that nature. But alas....;)
08/06/05
Even better the second reading. It left me not only encouraged to witness but convicted of the times I don't, "Fulfillment could only be found beyond. Were it any different he was sure that Cynthia, or someone, would have told him."
08/07/05
This is really spooky! Very good 'getting inside the mind' of Bob! Sad, though, too! I guess I kept hoping that the portal was to Heaven, but then I remembered the title said 'Suicide...'
08/08/05
Sounds like your character had serious problems and no one to help him, which is really sad. Well written, suspenseful. Wondered if the title gave too much away or even discouraged readers?
Wow! This is awesome too. There was really a TON of great work this week. This story is sad. A mind twisted by not living, being filled with TV, sci-fi magazines and regret. I loved this section particularly:

Fulfillment could only be found beyond. Were it any different he was sure that Cynthia, or someone, would have told him.

Finding the portal had given him hope, the only hope he‘d ever known.

If only someone would have told him of a real hope...

Excellent work.

This is your coolest entry. Fabulous. Such deception, such turmoil. I really got an underlying message of the dangers of allwoing anything into your mind (ex: reading, movies, music etc...) It was such a unique look at sucide, demonic activity, sci fi. Incredibly creative. Your descriptions were top notch in this piece. I could envision everything. I was absorbed compeltly, utterly emersed in what was going to happen. I'll never be able to look at suicides the same. Remarkable job. This didn't place?