The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 599 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
05/02/09
Thank God for hospital chaplains and for the work of the Holy Spirit. This story is proof that God's love is more powerful than we can ever imagine. Good job!
05/04/09
You have a powerful concept carried through with a well-laid-out plot. There is a certain stiffness to the narration, though. Maybe instead of telling how Eleanor felt, you could show it by describing her gestures and physical feelings.
05/04/09
What a great description on hurt and forgiveness that a family went through. Good job!
05/04/09
You have the framework for a great story. However, this seemed to read more like an essay rather than a story. Show the character's emotions through action or dialogue rather than spelling it out. I'm glad this had a happy ending.
Isn't it wonderful the change that takes place in our lives when we accept Christ into our heart? Good ending to what was an otherwise sad story that happens all to often in this world we live in.
05/07/09
I recevied a couple PMs with folks asking if this was a true story. First, thanks for asking. It is a true story up to the point of my stepfather dying. (Including him saying, "Jesus.") The doctors gave him a 10-20% chance of surviving. After a six-month hospital stay, he lived another year and a half. (I guess I had the stepfather in the story die for a more dramatic effect.)
05/07/09
This is a very real story! Thanks for sharing it, and reminding me that in Jesus a heart of stone can be changed.
Except possibly for the redemptive ending of this story, this could be the history of so many who read it. Great job with telling this tale, using a good range of emotions. Loren