The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Very descriptive and in death she pointed us to where all should look- to Jesus' sacrifice on the cross for us. Nicely done.
05/02/09
Very nice. BUT...way too many adjectives and adverbs that take away from the simplicity of the story. I realize writers are taught to use these descriptions, but they can be overdone. So who am I to say the "teachers" give the Writer wrong advice. But thanks for sharing. (This is only one person's viewpoint)...And I'm no expert, that's for sure!
05/05/09
Don't feel too bad about "red ink." The "red ink" I get is that my stories are too sterile (I have to admit, they really are), not enough visual and feel to them. Hey, maybe we should get together. I could write the mechanics of it and you could give it the flow and ebb of life that a good story needs. :D

I really do like your story. I enjoyed the comparisons you made between the tree and her sick body. Loved the message of hope at the end.
05/05/09
Don't feel too bad about "red ink." The "red ink" I get is that my stories are too sterile (I have to admit, they really are), not enough visual and feel to them. Hey, maybe we should get together. I could write the mechanics of it and you could give it the flow and ebb of life that a good story needs. :D

I really do like your story. I enjoyed the comparisons you made between the tree and her sick body. Loved the message of hope at the end.