The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/23/09
I really felt for this student. I picked up on the stress BIG TIME. Very good writing.
04/25/09
I liked your title, and description of the work. I think I may have missed something though. The ending--though topical--seems tacked onto the body of the story.
04/27/09
I could feel the tension between the two characters in this story, and I would've liked to have known more about the reason for it. Did the teacher truly not like Lita, or was it just Lita's assumption, colored by the fact she was struggling with the class work? You did a good job of showing Lita's emotions!
04/28/09
I can easily imagine one of my students having these exact feelings--and I HOPE I'm not like that teacher! Good writing!
04/28/09
This piece felt natural and realistic. Good work.
04/29/09
Excellent job with emotion in this piece. I think you did skirt the topic a bit, but this is very, VERY powerful writing. I was right there.
04/29/09
Did you miss the topic? Well, maybe a tad, but I like the story so much, I don't really care! Very good job of putting the reader in the moment with this MC.
I was right with your mc. I'd had those same feelings as a student in junior high school because of my beliefs.
Well done.
This was well written as you could get into this person's mind and deep struggle. Like the ending of hope.
04/29/09
Though I didn't quite understand why the teacher disliked Lita so much, I certainly felt for her! You conveyed her roiling emotions very well. Good work!
You brought your MC to life and made me feel for her. The topic is a bit fuzzy, but this is really good work. I enjoyed it very much.
04/29/09
I think it's on-topic. I would suggest editing for grammar. For example, in the last paragraph but one, Lita says, "...I pinched my arms until the pain...blew my nose." You've portrayed the emotion well, and I find myself identifying with Lita. The characters seem real, and I can understand Mlle Grond's annoyance and frustration at what must feel like her failure to effectively teach Lita. Your prose has a nice flow and makes for an easy, interesting read.
Very well written. I really felt for your MC and I personally felt her pain. Well done.
I was caught up in the story so I didn't even think about whether you missed the topic or not.....looking back, maybe a little but still nice work.
Oh, I felt so bad for the girl. I thought she was at most in high school and was surprised she was in college.
Otherwise, a provoking story.
04/29/09
I'm all emotional now!!! Boo hoo!!! Know what that means? YOu had me there. Thank you so much for this well-written piece. Your ending was my favorite. :D