The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/24/09
Incredible descriptions, and what a haunting and wonderfully engaging tale, with such a tinge of sadness. I felt with your MC deeply.
04/25/09
I love this line: I only realize now how much couples become one, to what a massive extent our parting is death—death to the one who is still left alive—as much as death is a parting. Powerfully written and very engaging. Well done.
Awesome writing. I truly felt the MC's pain. Well done.
04/29/09
Although the beginning of this dipped slightly into purple prose, I loved the ending. There, your narrator became real.
You write with depth and your mastery of words and use of cadence to heighten your thoughts is commendable. Sometimes less is actually more when you are able to write so descriptively - it is obvious that you have a gift for thoughtful if not profound phrasing. Well done!
A hauntingly sad tale- and so common today. As someone who stuggles with the "less is more" concept, I agree with previous comments. Trying to learn to write with less words but using words with greater power is a challenge but well worth the effort. Great job- keep writing.