The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/23/09
I enjoy your additions to this world you've created. Your ending is powerful and full of wisdom!
Entertaining read...well done!
This was great! I could hear their voices as I was reading. You've revealed a whole new side to these two characters as they discussed what Zorava was in the beginning, and what he is now . Well done!
04/25/09
I really liked the way these two talked to each other, as people rather than subject and king. And of course your message of forgiveness was nice two. One fairly minor thing was your use of the word "aye" coming from the scribe. Itm being Swashbuckler jargon, switched my mind to thinking that the admiral was talking, and that threw me for quite a while yet. I guess that while dialogue is a powerful tool, it takes in many ways more care to master than anything else.
04/26/09
Great story with strong dialogue and a sage ending. Well done!
I loved how the king threw down his crown to show that he was a friend. The last line is chocked full of wisdom, and there is so much truth to it. I'm loving every bit of this world and it's inhabitants. Keep these tales coming!