Tired of the same old “straight and narrow” meal?
Looking for something exciting to sink your teeth into that will tantalize your taste buds?
Well look no further, because I have the product just for you! Introducing the all new…
Damien’s Lukewarm Soup!
It’s the perfect soup for all of you “fence riders” out there. It’s not too hot, and it’s not too cold. In fact, it’s smack dab in the middle. Not sure which direction that you want to turn? Not sure which “side” you want to take? Well, if that is you, then you need this soup! Just listen to some of the testimonials from our satisfied customers…
“I was tired of being ‘on fire.’ There were too many rules, and I wanted to be free from laws and be able to do my own thing. One taste of Damien’s Lukewarm Soup, and I felt relieved. I was now free to experience ‘both sides’ that life had to offer.” – Sharon from Abilene, Texas
“This soup is the best purchase that I have ever made! After eating just one can, I felt invigorated. Now I am able to look good to my church family as well as my buddies at the local bar. I get the best of both worlds! This soup changed my life!” – Don from Sacramento, California
I guarantee you folks that after just one can of this soup, you will quickly drop that pesky conscience, and you will be able to live an amazing life that appears perfect to everyone around you regardless of what skeletons you have in your closet.
How much would you pay for total freedom like this? $39.95? NO! $29.95? GET OUTTA HERE! If you call within the next ten minutes, you can buy a can of Damien’s Lukewarm Soup for the low, low price of $19.95!
Have a friend that also wants to straddle the fence with you? Well, I might be crazy, but if you call right now, I’ll also throw in two additional bonus cans for you and two of your friends! That’s right! THREE cans of Damien’s Lukewarm Soup for the insanely low price of $19.95! You can’t beat this deal with a ten foot pitchfork, folks! So pick up the phone and dial the number on your screen right now!
Quantities are limited, so order today!
Disclaimer: Product may not work for everyone. Some may experience a conviction and feel the need to repent and completely turn their life over to Christ. Others may experience side effects such as the feeling of being “spewed” out of the mouth of God. If these side effects occur, eat another can of soup and quit feeling guilty. You are entitled to live your life the way you want to live it, right? If you are pregnant or nursing, we don’t care. We want your business anyway, and we will do whatever it takes to get you to eat our soup. All sales are final and subject to the terms and conditions of Abyss Inc.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
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