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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hot and Cold (04/09/09)

TITLE: I'll Have What She's Having
By Catrina Bradley
04/15/09


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From: beth1995@freemail.moc
Date: April 14, 2009
To: ed.wilson@freemail.moc
Subject: Us


I finally figured it out, Ed.

You and me, weíre like coffee and ice cream. Yep, thatís exactly what we are -- coffee and ice cream.

It hit me today at the cafť. See, this stranger lady comes in, all poshy poshy poo poo with her hair done up and wearing this fancy schmancy outfit, and she orders coffee and ice cream. Iíve never had anyone to order that particular combination before, but I smile even though I think sheís coo-coo for coconuts and I go off to get her order. Iím wondering about it though. (You know me, always wondering about stuff.) I guessed that maybe when the coffee burns your tongue, the ice cream freezes the burn, and then the hot coffee thaws out your frozen mouth, and thenÖwell, you get the picture.

That kinda reminded me of us, Ed. Iím like the coffee and youíre like the ice cream. (Wait - hear me out!) See, I get all het up and on fire about something, but itís just too hot for you to handle and it starts burning you up. So you dowse the flame with your cold, clinical logic. (Youíre sweet, Ed, but you tend to be as cold as Ö well Ö as ice cream.) Then my spirit ends up all frozen and numb with discouragement.

All this is going on in my head as I pour a cuppa for the poshy poshy poo poo lady and set her ice cream in front of her, and as I top off the other java drinkers, and as I snag the empty plates from the table of four. With each bundle of silverware I wrap, I count off another example of a burning bright idea that youíve iced down.

I look over to check on Ms. Poshy Poo, and I watch how she savors the oppositeness of the two treats. She doesnít let the coffee burn her mouth, or wait for the ice cream to freeze her tongue; she puts a spoon of ice cream in her mouth and then right away takes a sip of coffee. Then she smiles a blissful smile.

By now itís time for my break, so I decide I just have to try this coffee and ice cream combination. (It was the blissful smile that convinced me.) I follow Ms. Poshy Pooís lead, sampling a bite and a sip, and inside my mouth an amazing thing happens. The coffee melts the ice cream while the ice cream cools the coffee, and the two become one blissfully warm, ushy gooshy, sweet and pungent concoction.

Of course you know all this time Iím still thinking about us, Ed, about me being coffee and you being ice cream. But now Iím seeing a different take on the combination.

Ed, Iím so sorry that I only ever saw why we werenít working out, and never even thought to look for how we could. I'm hoping you'll forgive me. After today, Iím thinking we might make this marriage work after all.

Can we try again?

Iíd like to come home and melt you, Ed -- but just a little.

B


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This article has been read 822 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lynda Schultz 04/16/09
Very good, and that last line is delicious.
Rachel Rudd04/17/09
Your title drew me in (reminded me of a line from an old movie, even if that's not what you intended. :)). I reallly liked the e-mail layout and the "dialect" she uses. Fits perfectly. Very well written!
Betty Castleberry04/17/09
I actually know someone who has ice cream and coffee together, so your story strikes me as authentic. This is entertaining and made me smile.
Verna Cole Mitchell 04/18/09
I love the humor and your spunky mc and especially, the ending.
Laury Hubrich 04/18/09
Very nice entry and I love the ending;)
Jan Ackerson 04/19/09
Catrina, I LOVE it! Wonderful voice, charming story, superb use of the topic. Love. It.
Kristen Hester04/19/09
Oh, this is sooo good. Charming voice, for sure. My only thought is that the voice is so authentic and real, I almost think it should be perhaps a message on an answering machine or something rather than an email. I think it sounds like how she'd talk, but is it how she'd write? Just a thought! Bravo!
Karen Wilber 04/19/09
Oh yummy. I love the voice in this piece. I could just hear her in my head. Well done. Title drew me in as well. I just had to find out "what she was having" ;-)
Sonya Leigh04/19/09
I also loved the voice in the mc. This is a very creative, spunky approach to the topic. Very, very enjoyable!
Ruth Ann Moore04/20/09
I enjoyed your delicious take on hot and cold. (In fact I may well try coffee and ice cream!) A great read.
Sharlyn Guthrie04/20/09
I think this has a lot of comments because it's so GOOD! I absolutely love it. Thumbs up all the way!
Sheri Gordon04/21/09
This is so funny. Perfect voice. The Poshy Poshy Poo Poo just cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh.
Connie Dixon04/21/09
This was an awesome take on marriage and my two favorite foods: coffee and ice cream. I loved the way you tied it all together and how your mc was the first to try work things out. Good job!
Diana Dart 04/22/09
Love the title (fantastic scene wasn't it??) and the whole piece was just poshy poo poo perfect! The voice was so real, the squishy love and spicy fire hinted at were endearing. Creative, completely entertaining and even includes a dash of lesson in there! Fab.
Myrna Noyes04/22/09
Oh, so cute, so sweet, so clever!! :D Your story made me smile--from intriguing title to perfect ending!
Loren T. Lowery04/22/09
I think you did an excellent job with the tenses from Jan's class. You engaged the reader all the way through and made it all very convincing. I liked the "message" (subtle as it was/is)...sometimes we can learn from watching others and sometimes, they in turn can learn from us. Man, if that isn't a burden, I don't know what it. Great job/lesson, Cat. Your work is a joy to read.
Gerald Shuler 04/22/09
I love the voice. I tend to agree about it being more powerful as a voice message, but still it packs a powerful punch. Well done.
Sheri Gordon04/23/09
Congratulations on your EC. This cracked me up--again. So happy that it placed.
Loren T. Lowery04/23/09
I'm so happy for you, Cat! Great job and I had a sneaking suspicion this would place.
Congratulations - Loren
Carol Slider 04/23/09
This is beautifully written, and so true-to-life. Opposites not only attract... they often enhance each other. Congratulations on a very well-deserved EC!!
Sonya Leigh04/23/09
Congratulations on your EC, Catrina! I loved your story.
Myrna Noyes04/23/09
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EC!! I suspected this would be in the Winners' Circle today!! :D
Kimberly Michalski04/23/09
Hee! Cute and good writing.
Judy Meyers04/25/09
What a cute email. We can see our lives on the practical side if we just take a look around us. My husband puts ice cream IN his coffee at times. LOL
Lauren Dahl04/26/09
Wow!
Faithful Okoye04/27/09
Wow! Speechless! Beyond Words! Great!