Does God’s love feel like a nice hot drink in the dead of winter, warming me from the inside out? Or does it feel like a cold drink in the heat of summer, refreshing me as a cool breeze on my face?
The Word says God would rather have me be “hot or cold” than a lukewarm Christian. Why is that? Wouldn’t He rather I be “lukewarm” than “cold” toward Him? I certainly understand why He would rather have me “hot,” but He also says He would rather I be “cold” than “lukewarm!”
This Easter morning, as the bright sunshine came across my bed, I basked in the warmth of it. I did not want to get out of bed because the heat was so enjoyable. His love was definitely “hot” this morning, and I was feeling “hot” with love toward Him in return!
As I got out of bed, God reminded of an Easter morning fifteen years ago, which began the same way as the sunshine came across my bed.
That morning, I had my first flashback memory of my abusive childhood. The bright sunshine that had awakened me earlier could not take the coldness of that memory from deep inside of me. I was trembling in the cold with fear, and the heat of God’s love was nowhere to be found.
That traumatic memory had been shoved down in the deep wells of my subconscious mind for years.
Looking back on that day, I now realize that the cold I was feeling was God’s love for me also. God’s love could not allow me to stay in denial of my hidden past, because if I did, I could not possibly fulfill His purpose for my life. If I was not willing to see the cold, hard facts, how could I receive His healing and become who He created me to be?
If God’s Word instructs me as His child to be “cold or hot” and never “lukewarm,” wouldn’t He, as my example, be the same? Could He have just turned His head and looked the other way as I lived a life that was not total reality and truth? Wouldn’t that make His love “lukewarm?”
I have to admit something here. For years after that first flashback, I was “lukewarm” to the truth of what He allowed me to see that day. I pushed it aside, though I had an older sister confirm that memory to me the very next day. It was an ugly, cold, dark place. But I had seen it, and although I tried to stay “hot” for the Lord, pushing the truth away, I was not able to be anything but lukewarm! My anger and denial of the reality of that flashback made me unable to feel the heat of God’s pure love for me, and would not allow me to be on fire for Him in that frame of mind either.
Finally, after seven long years of being lukewarm, I asked God for the whole truth of my life. The memories came like a river flooding my mind. I felt as cold as ice, but learned that the temporary feelings of cold were as much God’s love for me as the warmth that came as He took me on a journey of miraculous healing.
I am happy to say that I am now basking in the fullness of His warmth, and am giving that warmth out to others as I fulfill His plans for me.
I have learned that when my life appears to be cold and dark, it is God’s great love allowing it so that I can see and deal with it. Then I am again in His great warmth, producing heat that will draw others to His saving love. God is never lukewarm! His love is whatever I need it to be in order to complete His destiny for my life! I may perceive it to be both hot and cold, but in reality, it is always exactly what I need!
My goal is to live by God’s example. He is never lukewarm. Being hot is a good thing. Being cold is for the healing I need so that I can be hot again! There is no place in my life for “lukewarm.” May His fire continually burn in me as I walk in His love that is forever mine!
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