The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
04/20/09
Wonderful dialogue, and I love the relationship between these two. Lovely.
I enjoyed how the story unfolded, each man with his mission, story, and hope.
04/20/09
I thought you built up the scene very well. I certainly didn't want to be in the alley by the time you'd painted the picture of it. I liked the humour of the meeting of Colin with his ex-principal.

For me the weaker part of the story was in the way Mr Parker came to Christ through his wife's death. It's not that anything was wrong with it, but this is such a common theme in Christian writing that, unless it is written brilliantly, the reader gets the feeling he knows what is coming next and fails to connect emotionally. I don't have a solution except to try to introduce a twist to bring the reader up short. Not easy with the word limit I appreciate! Overall I thought the story worked quite well though.

04/20/09
I enjoyed this story, with its twists and turns. Could easily be a much longer piece.
04/20/09
I like stories that go full circle, this one does and that is hard to do within the word limitation. Perhaps, this is a common story to many Christians as FW readers. In the 'outside' world it would be looked upon with greater interest...do you know what I mean? However, we as Christians should never tire of hearing it. Heartwarming.
My 62 yr old brother was recently saved after his wife passed away with cancer. It is a story worthy of telling.
Mona
You never know where God will lead if we listen, and that's one of the points I enjoyed about the story. Descriptions and dialogue, excellent.
04/20/09
I enjoyed this story. I liked the descriptions at the beginning. I could see what that place looked like! My favorite part was the line at the end where he asks him back to his office, a clever twist. I can see what the other comments are talking about as far as the common theme. I do like the part, though about his wife asking him to come home...gives a good relation to the homeless idea. Anyway, good story!
04/20/09
You always show a strong ability to control your words. This is a good "homeless" story and I enjoyed reading it.
04/22/09
Enjoyed reading this story, interesting descriptions that painted a very clear picture of the setting.
04/22/09
I really like your descriptions. Nicely written.