The Official Writing Challenge
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Tense and moody. Favorite paragraph: "The gun-toting port thugs were standing outside our parked minivan in a sinister circle, perusing our passports and trying to decide what to do. Some of them started shouting for “the Australian” to get out of the vehicle, at which point I dropped whatever was left of my “brave leader” façade and burst into tears. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be a missionary anymore!"

ooo, scary! Very interesting story--well done.
08/02/05
Wonderfully well-told, action-packed story! Great work!
08/02/05
Yes, very honest and emotional. Frankly, I would have been scared witless. Great discriptions. God bless ya, littlelight
08/03/05
What a frightening encounter.
08/04/05
I would love to hear about the other half of the story! Why it was worth it all! Great job!
08/04/05
Very well written.
After reading this tale, who would want to be a missionary? Thankfully you concluded that it has its rewards! A well-written snapshot of a frightening ordeal. You built the tension well throughout the story. Loved it. Thank you!
My insides are still trembling! Great job at making us feel what you were writing!
08/05/05
This is a great scene. A lot of potential for drama. My only problem is that you "told" us the whole thing. I would have much preferred to read an account that had me living it. Use dialogue and action to let the piece grow on its own.
What an ordeal- I would have liked a bit more dialogue, descriptive words... maybe a bit slower in approach-
08/06/05
Exciting situation! I never watch movies that has the heroine opens the door where the danger lurks. Reminds me of this story. Guess I wouldn't make it as a missionary in a dangerous place!
08/06/05
Yes, what a fiasco! Honest, spell binding story. Was really there with you. Well done. (Agree with Maxx on how you could imporove it for the reader though.)
08/07/05
Wow! What an experience! There seems a little symbolism of our passage through life in this piece. Did you have to pass through the same port to leave? Very good!