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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Hot and Cold (04/09/09)

TITLE: Captain Amazing
By Mona Purvis
04/10/09


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The gnarled old oak had listened in on many secrets over the years. It stood uncomplaining as tire-swings rocked its lower branches and lovers tattooed initials into its coat. Rocking the baby Robins to sleep in its upper branches, it eavesdropped on the two boys under its canopy.

“Ol' man Moore's watermelons done got ripe,” said ten-year-old Alvin.

“Yore pa's gonna whip yore backside if he catches you stealin' agin,” replied Fergus.

“Who says he's goin' catch me? I got super-powers! I'm invisible!”

Fergus shook his head and reached down to rub Old Fella's brown fur. “You ain't superman...and you ain't got no superpowers neither.”

“Do, too. When I blow cold air, I'm Alvin. But, when I blow hot air...I'm the invisible Captain Amazing!”

Fergus was a year older than Alvin, but he had a hard time keeping up. “What you talkin' bout? Blowin cold air and hot air?”

“It's the secret of superpower. Man, don't you know nothin? Put your lips together like you whistlin...blows cold. See?” Alvin pursed his lips and blew to make his point. Fergus blew cold air like he was eating a roasted marshmallow.

“Now...blow like this...Ha...Ha...Ha. Hot air! Invisible superpowers of Captain Amazing!”

Alvin was pleased with himself for being so smart. Fergus continued blowing hot and cold while trying to figure it out. How could hot air and cold air come from one mouth?

“Alvin! You come here right this minute! Did you sell blackberries to Mrs. Pruitt?” Alvin's mother could holler loud enough to raise the dead.

“It's all yore fault! I told you we'd get it!” Alvin said.

“Don't blame me! You the one that spilt the blackberries in the sand. I had to pick em all up.”

“I told you she'd be mad. Now, I'm gonna get it!”

“Blow hot air...Captain Amazing, blow hot air.”


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This article has been read 608 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Robyn Burke04/16/09
I can see those boys, the tree, the watermelon... good visuals. good writing. cute story.
Bryan Ridenour04/16/09
Very entertaining...I could see the boys in my mind. Great story!
Gregory Kane04/17/09
This was a charming story with a lot of untapped potental. Look at the excellent description in your opening paragraph. But thereafter you fall back into dialogue, albeit colourful and well crafted. Rather than submit your story so early in the week, why not take a day or two to let it develop, allow the characters a little more time to come into their own? Have a think about it. Cheers, Gregory
Lollie Hofer 04/17/09
Good use of this week's theme. I do agree with Gregory...the dialogue was intriguing but a little more mixture of diagogue and narration would have been good too. I did like the voices of the kids.
Jan Ackerson 04/19/09
I like the idea of the tree eavesdropping...very clever!
Edmond Ng 04/19/09
Interesting read for the hot and cold with superpowers! Glad to read something different for this topic with a less serious tone.
Patricia Turner04/19/09
What a cute story! Love your very real and hilarious dialogue between the two boys. Also love the idea of the tree eavesdropping.
Ruth Ann Moore04/20/09
This was a really cute story. I loved the voices of the boys. It would seem those two rascals get into their share of trouble. Nicely done.
Tina McDougall04/20/09
Very cute! Love this entry.
Thanks for sharing.
Tina
Joshua Janoski04/21/09
Ya know, I never actually gave much thought to how we can blow cold air and hot air out of one mouth. Most people who know me think I am just full of hot air though. :)

I liked your story. I wish it had been a bit longer, because I was just starting to get into the boys and their adventures. What you wrote iss good though. Thanks for sharing.
Laury Hubrich 04/22/09
How funny - I tried it - you're right, it does blow and hot and cold:) Who knew? lol. Very cute story.