The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/10/09
There are lots of lessons in this piece. And yes, adults without children miss so many parental insights. Good job of taking us into the head of a divorced father, an unfortunate place to be.
This was fun to read. I especially liked the offer of a haunted house over a ride! That had me laughing out loud. Children are able to cut through so much and make the big issues seem small sometimes.
04/12/09
Oh, I like this a lot. You capture the character's feelings well. Great job!
04/13/09
Wonderful voice--real issues, real fears and doubt, and a touch of humor. Very good writing.
04/13/09
I love that you made your chicken character a man! This was a very sweet story with a super voice.
04/14/09
I had to smile at the "parenting is ninety-percent distraction" Oh, and the "deep-fried Oreos" -- is there such a thing? Loved the lessons learned by both Lily and her father!
04/14/09
Awwww, what a dad! I love the descriptions and the wry humor~ dr Laura, hydrolic fluid on the shirt...
good writing!
04/16/09
Great story-telling wrapped up in a wonderful lesson. Congratulations on your win and a job well done.
04/16/09
Absolutely fantastic. Your writing here is so natural and smooth.
You had me smiling and smiling.
Love the description of the greasy-haired operator.
Still smiling. GREAT job!
Very cute story. You captured the environment of a state fair perfectly! I like how you related the MCs fears of the ferris wheel to his fear of trying to be the best father that he can be for his daughter. Very worthy of its top placement!