Home Tour About What's New Help Forums Join Login My Account Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
I
Need A
Savior
301
  

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Up and Down (04/02/09)

TITLE: An Uncomfortable Question
By Bryan Ridenour
04/08/09


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

The morning was quiet and intensely humid. Professor Thaddeus Lowe emerged from General McClelland's spacious wall tent, observing the atmospheric conditions. He signaled his assistant to inflate the Enterprise. A portable gas generator chugged to life and within moments, the flimsy woven shell fluttered, hydrogen gas awakening the sleeping balloon. Thaddeus quietly monitored the familiar procedure.

A rich baritone voice pealed melodiously nearby. Thaddeus turned to see an older man hunched over a large cast iron kettle, slicing potatoes in the shade of a giant oak.

"Good Morning," Thaddeus greeted, approaching the man.

"Mornin', Professor Lowe."

"You know who I am?" he asked, pleased.

"Y'r pretty famous down in these parts," he said, extending a calloused hand. "Gabe's, m’ name."

"How long have you been serving the Army of the Potomac?" Thaddeus inquired, dropping into the cool shade.

"Jus' got here," he replied, eyes twinkling. "I go wherever m' Commander sends me."

"Ev'ry army needs its share of good cooks."

"I reckon," Gabe nodded.

"I'm sure the men are going to appreciate vegetables. Taters beat that God forsaken hard tack any day."

"Hard tack ain't manna, f'r sure," Gabe agreed, flashing a toothy grin.

"Thaddeus," a voice barked several yards away, "the Enterprise will be ready in five minutes."

The Enterprise, inflated with gas and adorned with American Flags, swayed proudly over the Union encampment. Thaddeus pushed to stand; Gabe gripped Thaddeus' arm firmly, slowing his progress. Thaddeus stared into a pair of intense eyes.

"I got a question for y', Professor Lowe," Gabe stated solemnly. "Is y'r work dangerous?"

"A few cannons have thrown six-pounders through the rigging of my balloon," he nodded. "When I get out of range, the Rebs stand there, shaking their fists, yelling curses...If profanities could bring the gas bag down, I'd be a goner," he chuckled, snatching a potato slice, popping it into his mouth.

Gabe's eyes narrowed. "If y' get shot down, Professor, are y' goin' up or down?"

"Well, obviously with the force of gravity..."

"I ain't talkin' about gravity," Gabe interrupted. "Are y' goin' up or down?" he asked, pointing for emphasis.

"Oh, I see. You're not only a cook…but let me guess…you’re a circuit riding preacher too."

"Consider me a messenger," Gabe responded. "Y' really ought to have a talk with th' chaplain."

"Thank-you," Thaddeus said, backing away uncomfortably. "I'll take your advice into consideration. But now I need to get up to my observation post. The General awaits information about the Rebel's whereabouts."

Thaddeus hurried to the balloon, examined the tethered cables, and the signaling apparatus. Inspection completed, he nodded approval to his assistant. He retrieved field glasses from his pocket and wiped his perspiring brow on the sleeve of his frock coat. His assistant, James, knelt and cupped his hands to boost Thaddeus into the basket.

"Wait, James."

His assistant stood, looking at Thaddeus curiously.

"I was just asked an interesting question. Do you ever think about what happens after we die?"

James' jaw tightened. "Ev'ry time I hear a cannon roar or see a soldier lying on the battlefield...Who've you been talkin’ to Thaddeus?"

"The cook," he indicated over his shoulder.

"What cook?"

“The cook sitting over there under...” Thaddeus’ voice trailed off into stunned silence. The oak stood lonely; the cook no longer prepared food in its welcome shade. Thaddeus scanned the area, and then sprinted to the tree. He scoured the base, looking for proof of his recent encounter. Gabe and the cast iron kettle had vanished. He shuffled back to the balloon, wide-eyed, shaking his head in disbelief.

A small band of soldiers now crowded around the Enterprise, gawking at the novelty, anticipating lift-off. Thaddeus pushed his way through the swarm, ignoring cheers and well wishes. He stumbled wildly and lunged for the basket’s rim, his head spinning, mind racing out of control.

A steady hand rested upon his shoulder. “Thaddeus, are you ok?” James asked, concerned.

"James," his voice croaked. "Delay the ascension. I need to go talk to the chaplain about going up!"


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 376 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Benjamin Graber04/09/09
Very creative - I enjoyed this!
Rachel Rudd04/09/09
You showed a wonderful inventiveness in this story...although you've got my mind wondering...how much historical truth is here? I enjoyed reading this and figuring out the historical setting.
Chely Roach04/13/09
What an intriguing story. I giggled at the line, "Consider me a messenger," Gabe responded. Great clue, and a great time to drop it. Well done!
Beth LaBuff 04/13/09
I know a lot of Civil War fans will enjoy this. I really like the double meaning of the question, "If y' get shot down, Professor, are y' goin' up or down?" Great work on this story!
Connie Dixon04/13/09
Loved the story, very engaging, great descriptions...I loved the dialect (?). I agree, the title could be more powerful. Good job!
Robyn Burke04/14/09
good writing! I love those characters who 'disappear' leaving both mc and reader shaking their heads.
Karen Wilber 04/15/09
I like the lighthearted tone mixed with a simple, but powerful, message. A good blend of light and serious. Your dialogue kept the story moving.


   
© MeasurelessMedia. All rights reservedTerms of Service