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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Kingdom of God (03/12/09)

TITLE: Permit Application for Thy Kindom Come
By Carol Sprock
03/18/09


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Application for Crowd Event: Thy Kingdom Come

Name of Organizer: Father God, Creator of Heaven and Earth
Residence: Heaven
Telephone: 1-888-PRAYNOW

Date: To be arranged
Location: Earth
Number in Attendance: minimum 144,000 but I hope too numerous to count
Duration: Eternity

I, Government Clerk 29-1-B, have reviewed your application.
Until confirmation of the following, your permit is denied.

All correlated permits and action plans in triplicate
Amplified music: muted trumpets, no peals of thunder
Aerial stunts: FAA standards for flying chariots and angel pilots
Crowd control: traffic, parking, restrooms, security
Location impact: BYOPB (bring-your-own-palm-branch) recycling
Health regulations: first-aid kits and emergency medical services
Fire control: no brimstone, fires in designated locations

Notarized signatures of
Director of Public Safety
Fire Chief
Animal Control Officer
Planning and Development Director
Manager
Public Works Director
Home Owners Association President
Parks Director

Adherence to all rules and regulations to include but not limited to
No demonstrations (defined: a gathering of two or more persons
for purposes of attention to proclaim or protest a position or organization)
No parades (defined: a march, ceremony or procession of any kind
on streets, walkways, grounds or places)
No picket lines (defined: a collection of one or more persons
formed to make a position known)

Granting of permit not authorize other violations, such as
Animals unharmed during event
Gender-neutral language
Tolerance for all religions
Posted exit signs
Modification to grounds: Pruning to HOA standards

Payment of requisite fees

Signed waiver of liability

Withdrawal of intent to include activities of following nature
Thunder and lightning
Hailstorms and earthquakes
Plagues of any sort
Use of swords, symbolic or otherwise
Lake of fire
Strange beasts of unknown origin
Falling stars
Change in geography, e.g., mountains and seas

NOTE: Evidence of any such action will result in immediate
revocation of permit
cessation of event
dispersal of all persons

To appeal this decision or re-apply for consideration
Respond in writing
In seven days
And minimum six months before intended event.

Allow three months for processing.

Status on Permit for Thy Kingdom Come: DENIED


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This article has been read 327 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Ruth Ann Moore03/19/09
Praise God He does not work on man's timetable or schedule or by man's rules. Very cleverly written article. I loved it.
Jan Ackerson 03/21/09
Hilarious--wonderful satire and dry humor. Loved it!
Gregory Kane03/23/09
A delightful way of poking fun at worldly and clueless bureaucracy. At a couple of points I got a bit bogged down in the lists (for example with the authorised signatories) and the sniggles dried up for a short time before resuming with the next section along. But other than this, a excellent and humorous piece of writing.