The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/21/09
Very clever idea!

All-dialogue pieces are sometimes improved by occasional breaks in the talking for a bit of action or description.

I love the creativty you showed here.
03/24/09
What a fun phone conversation with a great message. I love the "cathedral of the dimpled ball" :)
03/24/09
Creative. Like the differing references to ways people "claim" to worship. Nice job!
03/24/09
Very funny. Loved the Church of the Trout, and cathedral of dimpled ball. Had me laughing out loud.

I would usually agree with Jan's comment about breaking up dialogue, but I think what you did worked. The "feel" of the piece was a very quick back-and-forth conversation, and I think words other than the dialogue would have broken that pace.

Very creative. Excellent job with the topic.
03/24/09
I agree about the title. I love the pace of this dialogue, could be done as a skit...?
03/24/09
I agree, it could use a new title, but other than that, LOVED it!!! Very funny.
03/24/09
I enjoyed this -- especially the repetition of the line "He knows." It's a great line and to have it repeated is such a reminder of that fact. Nothing is hidden from Him. I liked the fast pace to this as well.
03/24/09
I agree that the conversation carried the wit beautifully. With no action I was still able to see him fishing and playing golf. In the beginning I could almost see him looking around to see if he could spot a hidden camera. I also feel that the title is great (yea, I know what has been said) because, hey, how else are you going to start a telephone conversation?
03/24/09
This was so witty and enjoyable to read. Perfect balance of humor and serious. A very creative concept for the topic, and you executed it wonderfully.
03/25/09
I couldn't help but feel a sly grin form on my face while reading this. Very clever idea!
03/26/09
One of your best!