The Official Writing Challenge
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Very fun entry. Vivid descriptions! Well done!
03/13/09
What a lot of fun and how completely unprepared for safari those two were. I think you'll find, mind you, that the Zambezi river is a very long way from Tanzania where the rest of your story takes place.
03/16/09
I loved it! This story gave me a lift. These two sisters had me smiling throughout. I could picture that orange purse, and those half eaten life savers, as if it were my own grandma. Again, loved it!
I always thought a safari vacation sounded fun, but now I'm not so sure. You had me smiling at these sisters! I especially liked the conversation between them. Great job! (I do want to know what they missed by skipping the Sundowner, tho.)
03/17/09
This was hilarious! I loved the sisters, and roared at the last line. Fantastic job!
Safari's are not on my list of what I must do before I die. I am happy to read about others doing so but thank you very much i will rather read a book. Lovely interaction between the sisters.
03/17/09
This was fun. A vacation I'm not sure I'd allow anyone to talk me into.
I loved your story. I especially liked the names you chose; Bubu the elephant, and Buck Aroo the tour guide. Perfect! Thanks for the light read.
I particularly enjoyed the chacterization of the two sisters. Their dialogue was fun, as was the whole piece.
03/18/09
Cute story.

The dialogue, especially in the first half, seemed a bit stilted--the ladies needed to use a few contractions to make their speeches sound more natural.

Middle-aged sisters always make for amusing stories!
I loved the name of the guide and the two sisters had me smiling. Well done!
03/18/09
Wonderful sense of humor. You made a story that would be great footage in a home movie entitled "So Glad to Be Home".

I agree with what has been said about trying to make the conversations a bit more natural. Even so, great entry.
03/18/09
Great entry! You had me chuckling, for sure. Reminds me of the Sisterchick books!
I saw a hint of Erma Bombeck in your writing style and was amused by the humor the entire way through. Great, very enjoyable writing!
Great characterization with an entertaining read.
05/19/09
Remind me never to take a safari trip in Africa....