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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Asia (02/26/09)

TITLE: Mommy
By Debbie Roome
03/05/09


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Hong Kong – The Fragrant Harbour – city of mystique. My heart is crammed with impressions of this vibrant metropolis, this place my twin adored.

I keep moving and immerse myself in throngs of people crowding narrow sidewalks. Packed eating-houses line the street and crispy ducks hang in windows adding to the aroma of fried vegetables. As the sun slips away, streets flash and spin and explode with neon; a thousand Piccadilly Circuses in one. Above the neon, walls stretch upward, dingy and gray, washing on window sills, air conditioning vibrating.

I spot a hooded entrance to the underground and follow the crowds surging down worn stairs. The train reminds me of a gleaming snake, slithering through dark tunnels, swallowing prey. I drop $2 in the machine and follow the digital display. Down here, everything is automated, efficient, impersonal.

As the train hurtles through Tsim Sha Tsui, Jordan, Yau Ma Tei and Mong Kok, I wonder if Tess, Jin and Bao ever travelled this route. Maybe they once sat on the seat where I am or maybe they preferred the buses and trams that clutter the streets. How I wish I’d visited them. Sam offered to send me but we were newly-weds and broke.

I alight at Prince Edward and wander through a street market, the dusk stained by lanterns and a million fairy lights. Tented shelters offer underwear and socks, DVDs and iPods, golden idols and silk flowers, cosmetics and purses and exotic fruits and battered fish balls. The fragrance of seasoned meat blends with incense and damp, muggy air sits like a thick blanket.

Captivated, I head slowly towards Nathan Street, the golden mile of Hong Kong. Stores are open till late here and pools of light pour across plush red carpets. “Oh, Tess.” I whisper. “I understand why you loved this place. It just draws you in, absorbs you into its life.”

I check the map again and head further down the road to where the social worker is meeting me. “I’ll be wearing a blue skirt and a shirt with blue and yellow flowers.” she told me in accented English. I search the crowds, eyes probing, people jostling, until I spot her.

Introductions are made and she hails a taxi. “I’m sorry for your loss.” she says. “The accident affected our people deeply.” I think back on the news footage. The graphic images of the carnage when a ferry engine exploded killing five and injuring twelve.

How will it feel, I wonder, to see Tess’s things, Tess’s home? So many times I promised I’d visit but never did. It was partly financial; partly fear of family and totally wrong. My parents were livid when Tess eloped with Jin. “He’s Chinese.” my mother wailed. “They have a completely different culture to ours.”

To my shame, I agreed with them. Although Tess and I looked identical, she was always the wild one. Motherhood seemed to calm her, though. “Bao is beautiful.” She wrote when their little girl was born two years ago. “I’m going to speak English to her and Jin will speak Cantonese.”

The social worker breaks in on my thoughts. “Your sister lived in one of those high-rises.” She points to featureless towers, stark against the darkening sky.

“How is Bao?” I ask.

“She’s too young to understand.” The social worker shakes her head. “The welfare system has a foster parent staying in the apartment with her - it’s less disruptive that way.”

Bao is sitting cross-legged when we arrive; a porcelain doll on an oriental rug. Black hair hangs limp and her eyes are dull and sad. Tess emailed me hundreds of photos of Bao, of the apartment, and the scene looks familiar... yet unfamiliar as I add smells and textures and sounds.

“Hello, Bao.” She looks up and as her eyes connect with mine, life floods back into her soul.

“Mommy!”

I stop still, shocked.

Mommy?

I wear my hair differently to Tess and my taste in clothes is different.

She scrambles up and comes charging towards me. “Mommy!”

And yet, I have come to take Bao home to America where Sam and I will raise her as our own.

I drop to my knees and open my arms as she hurls herself at me.

“I love you Bao.” We rock together and I drop kisses on her head, tears running down my cheeks and splashing onto hers. Explanations lie ahead, but for now, this little child is safe and secure in my arms.


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This article has been read 868 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Norma-Anne Hough 03/06/09
Very moving story. Your descriptions are very vivid.
Sharon Kane03/08/09
Your descriptions were wonderful; I felt I was right there. The ending brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful way to be able to repay a family debt and help relieve regrets.
Carol Slider 03/08/09
A beautifully written story, with a very sweet conclusion!
Connie Dixon03/08/09
This story is an incredibly beautiful new beginning for this little girl and for a new Mommy. Great writing and details. I was right there with the mc.
Beth LaBuff 03/09/09
I could see all of this from your descriptions and your ending warmed my heart! LOVE THIS!
Sheri Gordon03/10/09
You have such a gift of writing beautiful, descriptive prose. You pulled me in at the very beginning, and left me with tears and a lump in my throat at the end. Excellent writing, and great job with the topic.
Karlene Jacobsen 03/10/09
Oh, wait, I have to get a tissue...
Okay, I'm back. This was such a tender, heart-wrenching story. At least for me it was.
Joanne Sher 03/10/09
Oooooh my - just beautiful and vivid and heartbreaking! I was absolutely engaged.
Janice Fitzpatrick03/11/09
Very touching and captivating! What a tender and moving piece. I was happy on how you ended this. Great writing! Well done-realsitic descriptions makes one feel as if they are there along side of the main character. God bless!!
Marty Wellington 03/12/09
Wow - totally captured my imagination with the wonderful sights and sounds of Hong Kong and then WHAM! the ending hit with a bittersweet tenderness. I think you touched on all the senses here! Congratulations on your EC!
Folakemi Emem-Akpan03/12/09
I thought I commented on this story earlier. I was enthralled by your story and couldn't wait to see what happened. A sad story with an incredibly hopeful ending.
Congrats on your EC