The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 766 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Well told reenactment of a tradition that added to the grief of many women.
02/21/09
Very powerful entry. The repetitive phrases are set just right and the poem reads beautifully.

The only thing I'd change is to give a tiny bit more of a note to the reader. I've heard of suttee so it made perfect sense to me, but for someone who's not heard of it, the poem may be a bit confusing.

Also the line "pale of face" bothers me but I'm not sure how you would choose to change that.

Well done! You are very talented with poetry.
I enjoyed this piece. It brings attention to the practice of sati which as you point out, has not completely disappeared.
02/22/09
You do very well with your poetic imagery, it's like a balm to the soul...keep writing those poems.
02/22/09
Powerful images in this poem. Have sent you a critique via PM.
02/23/09
Wonderful, and fantastic use of repetition. This was moving and beautiful.
Holly, this is excellent! This poem was so well written, I don't have much red ink offer.
My only thought to consider is that the line "As I return to sons and daughters with good news" didn't give the "punch" that it could have. The imagery you used through the poem really communicated with my heart, and I think if you had used more imagery in that last line, the ending would have been more powerful.
I really liked the flow of this poem, and the use of repetition even as the poem developed. You did an excellent joy of combining both the poetical tool of repetition and still developing the poem through each stanza.
Excellent job! I hope you try your hand at more free verse in the future!
Blessings,
Ben