The Official Writing Challenge
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02/19/09
Oh, my! This shoots up to the top of some of my favorites here ever. What I love most is how you portrayed His presence...it felt physical, more real than real, and so very, very precious. Wow...
02/20/09
This is a powerful entry about a heavy, heavy topic. Truly heart-wrenching.

Huge kudos to you for tackling this.

The characterization of Bhavna and her plight is just searing and unforgettable, and Rishi is like this black, ominous presence in the background. Well done!

I think the portrayal of God here is way too human-like though, and that was really uncomfortable for me.

The last line would be so much more powerfully rendered just simply "the Holy Spirit breathed these words across her soul, “I will be with you always, until the end of time.” My opinion. :)

I do think you have enormous writing talent!!
02/21/09
My favourite: "he wrapped himself around her. He enveloped her entire being; his embrace so warm and comforting, that it penetrated her very soul." I know that feeling, and your description brought tears to my eyes.
02/21/09
When I first read this piece, I thought there was a literal person in the room with her. It took a couple more reads to realize the subtle clues you left that it was God. Very good.

One thing puzzled me in this piece. The line "We are only permitted two children." By whom? There is no law restricting the amount of children a family in India may have.

I really appreciate that you shed light on this tragedy that happens all too frequently in India. This piece is a powerful message to pray for the women of India.
I didn't submit an entry this week but if I had, it would have been on this same topic; the killing of innocent female babies. But I must admit my story would not have been this strong, this compelling.
Thank you for sharing this story that needs so much to be shared.
Love,
Folakemi
I tossed between knowing she was talking with the Lord, and a physical person in the room. By the end I knew.
I thought that was well done. I often talk to God as though HE were in the room with me, and often-times I hear His response in my heart. I loved how you portrayed that.
02/23/09
Very poignant. And what an awful situation you present! I can't believe this happens. Wow.
Moving...engaging...superb
02/23/09
This is a sad commentary on life in India. I had no idea. Thank you for your informative and well-written revelation.
02/23/09
Very powerfully written! Incredibly told story.
02/23/09
I had heard that this practice was common in China, but I didn't realize it was true in India, as well. A powerful and well-written story... thank you so much for sharing it!
I was pulled into your story by the emotions of the woman and the beautiful sense of God's presence with her--just like the loving, caring Friend He is to His children.
This entry is beautifully written and charged with emotion. My concern however is that it's misleading. There are millions of Indian girls that are not aborted. When the father doesn't want another girl they are left on the steps of clinics, missions, and orphanages. Many Indian women love their daughters enough to carry them to term and hope someone else can give them a better life. My family has been building orphanages in India since 1969. I do appreciate how eloquently you brought this issue to light.
02/26/09
Powerful, as everyone has said.

Obviously some questions have been raised about the two-child policy in India and infanticide versus adopt.

For those interested, on the former, here is a good link. http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2006/jul/06072804.html The policy never applied to all states nor to the entire population of those states. The policy has been repealed by many of the states that adopted it. All of this would be pretty hard to deal with in 750 words. Perhaps just a mention that the husband is running for office or holds office in one of the 6 states affected.

And, of course, many women are killing their children without being forced to by the government, while many others are doing valiant and/or desperate things to save their daughters as Angela pointed out. On the non-adoption side, i.e., the infanticide side, here is a link that is not overwhelming in length, although the sources are getting a little dated: http://www.gendercide.org/case_infanticide.html.

Again, a wonderful, yet tragic and heart-breaking piece.
02/26/09
Incredibly well written, the choice to present God there with her, more physical than spiritual, gave such beef to the conversation and the emotion of the whole piece.
I was going to say that the Lord seems weak and powerless, here. I thought it was a weak Indian minister at first. I'm not sure how I feel about that. But truly, this is a stellar piece of writing. Something to aspire to. Well done.