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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: India (02/12/09)

TITLE: The Match
By Melanie Kerr
02/18/09


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Sadiqua was a sweet young bride
Her mother’s joy, her father’s pride
Betrothed she was to Taj Patel
Vows exchanged, with him to dwell

A dowry found of silver things
Of precious gems and golden rings
Greedy Taj demanded more
Than his bride’s modest treasure store

He threatened waving angry fists
His face consumed in raging mists
The Law was not on Taj’s side
His “rights” it solemnly denied

Some folks pandered to his pride
Said perhaps Sadiqua lied
Selfishly concealed her wealth
Buried it with cunning stealth

“She doesn’t love you” whispers said
Words that swam around his head
Deep inside his anger swirled
Through his thoughts it slowly curled

He hatched a plan to vent his rage
He purchased goods and set the stage
The village square where all could see
A chilling sight he’d guarantee

So quick the deed, the oil was flung
To sari silk and flesh it clung
A match ignited cruelly thrown
A wall of flame was upward blown

He smirked, the crowd surrounding gasped
A blanket from a donkey grasped
Water snatched from village well
The flames extinguished as she fell

Sadiqua’s grave is there today
Along with others, sad to say
In India such young girls die
And many fail to question why


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This article has been read 1278 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Benjamin Graber02/19/09
So sad, but well written...
I would suggest adding punctuation; it makes a poem flow more smoothly.
So many women are subject to so many cruelties by men in this sinful world - we need more men of God willing to make a difference in the world.
Keep up the good work!
Seema Bagai 02/19/09
So glad you wrote about this topic. It is a tragedy many women in India face.

Choosing Indian names is difficult. Sadiqua and Taj are usually Muslim names. Patel is a Gujarati Hindu last name. Also, you mentioned a grave at the end. Most people in India are cremated.

I liked the double meaning of the title. :)

Eliza Evans 02/20/09
I stumbled a bit at
_Than his bride’s modest treasure store._
doesn't quite fit the rhythmn I don't think but other than that W.O.W.

OMgosh .. The title? And those last 4 stanzas .. Could they be more perfectly haunting?

The jaunty, rhyming format is the ideal contrast to what is actually being said!!

Chilling. Stunning.
Joanne Sher 02/21/09
Excellent descriptions. Very visual piece.
Lynda Schultz 02/21/09
Oooooh, the title and what follows make this a powerful piece of work. I would agree with a previous commenter—the combination of poetry with the subject matter makes a huge impact.
Karlene Jacobsen 02/21/09
The atrocities women face in so many nations. This was a powerful piece.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge02/22/09
Compelling piece!
Verna Cole Mitchell 02/24/09
A chilling narrative poem--very visual. Well done.
Lori Othouse 02/25/09
I agree, very chilling. Concise and powerful. The bluntness of the words makes all the more impact on the reader. Excellent!
Chely Roach02/26/09
Wow. This was so good! I love great titles, and yours fits the bill. What a sobering and sad story, but so wonderfully told. Well done, and congrats on your EC!