The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 595 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/20/09
My heart went out to these poor, sweet children!

The brother's longest speech didn't sound like something a child would actually say--it was more like reading a report at that point.

But the rest of it was lovely, if sad.
Interesting game. I was confused in the middle and had to re-read it. It suddenly sounded like an author's note instead of part of the conversation. Good reminder of why India needs the Gospel.
02/23/09
This is a creative story.

I thought the dialogue of the children seemed unnatural.

This piece has a good message.