The Official Writing Challenge
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A science fiction format does automatically help the reader want to "figure things out". However, I got lost in the text...perhaps somewhat because of the lack of paragraph spacing. The dream at the end seems to be very significant; I wanted to know more about the symbolic nature of the images!
07/27/05
I agree with Beth. Great story though, unique and creative.
God bless ya, littlelight
07/28/05
I too got lost perhaps because I'm not a science fiction person. Thanks for sharing.
07/30/05
Ah, I recognize this author! ;-) I think your opening paragraph and closing paragraphs work well. Need a little brushing up on the English, but not bad! The middle sections introduce too many characters for such a short story. Concentrate on the dream that is being lived on that strange planet far away. THAT is the key to this piece. Keep it up! :-)
08/06/05
Some lovely descriptive pieces at the beginning set the science fiction scene for the reader. The dream is very vivid - making me want to know more about the orphaned Garry and what was concerning him. Keep submitting.