The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 903 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/12/09
Haha... cute story and the teen voice is very real. I am jealous that she got to swim with the turtles!! I would so LOVE to have an experience like that. Poor Evan!
02/12/09
An enjoyable story. I liked the MCs voice.
02/15/09
Darling - and you've got that voice just right! I used to talk like that! hehe. Fun piece. And yeah - poooorr Evan.
02/16/09
Creative approach to the topic. Maybe her change of heart was a bit too quick? But you got her voice just exactly right.
02/16/09
I love the line, "Iíve had lots of practice at it so it should be a breeze." LOL. Superb voice. Perfectly snippy. Great job!
As a youth pastor, I'm used to hearing teenagers; you got this just right! Great job!!!
Definitely "in the groove"! I loved it. You proved the point that teen-agers are notoriously fickle, as you stayed right on topic.
02/18/09
Your MC could be one of my students...and like them, will take notice of His creation once her eyes are off herself, once she is away from her peers. Wait--that applies to us adults as well...bad attitudes are contagious. So are "too busy" attitudes. How often do we attend a church function with some reluctance, and then find that we were blessed by attending? Though students can be fickle, I'm sure Evan will be back in the picture once she gets home!
Oh yeah, very believable! Good approach and writing.
02/19/09
This is GREAT! Love it. Congrats on your Editor's Choice!!!!
02/19/09
I really enjoyed this authentic-sounding piece that explores the thought life of a teenage girl. You hit the nail on the head, and obviously the judges agree! Well done!
02/19/09
I only wish the journal entries were longer. I love the teen voice, very accurate! My English teacher assigned journals one quarter, and you brought back memories. Congrats, Laury, this is just precious and your EC is well deserved.
LOL! This was hilarious and authentic at the same time. Exactly how a girl this age would act. I loved the reference about having lots of practice making her parents miserable. I also love how she forgot about Evan at the end after going on and on about him. Great story! It made me smile. :)