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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: South America (02/05/09)

TITLE: Evan Who?
By Laury Hubrich
02/11/09


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Okay. This is my homework that Iím supposed to do for Freshman English since Iím going on vacation in the middle of the semester. My parents and I (see how I wrote I, Mrs. Wilson?) are going to the GalŠpagos Islands. Iím not happy about it. You see, I have this boyfriend named Evan. I know heíll get tired of waiting for me and find a new girl. UghÖ Iíve decided to make my parentsí life miserable for making me go. Iíve had lots of practice at it so it should be a breeze.

Here are some facts about the Islands. Mom said I need to put this in so I am. Besides that, it pads my word count. (You did tell me I could be honest in what I thought and felt, right Mrs. Wilson? Just wanted to remind you!)

Galapagos Islands are part of the country Ecuador, South America. All the islands are part of the National Park System, thatís why weíre here. Dad is doing some research and writing. I hear it has really cool animals but Iím just not into animals anymore, besides that, I got rid of a bunch of stuffed ones.

Okay, enough of that. Weíre leaving tomorrow. I have to go to bed. Momís orders.

October 1

Iím sitting in an airplane. Can you say boring? Weíre flying into Quito, Ecuador and then going to San Cristobal, GalŠpagos. Dad wants to look for the red footed booby, I guess itís really hard to find. He also wants to find the Chatham mockingbird thatís only found on this island. Can you say boooring? I am so excited. Can you tell? Mrs. Wilson, Iíd almost rather be in your class right now. At least Evan sits in front of me and I can look at his blond, curly hair.

October 2

Letís seeÖ we took a plane, stopped to pick up more people and then took off again. We then took a bus. That was fun. NOT! I had to sit by an old woman that didnít smell the best. UghÖ Later that day I got to walk down to the boat dock by myself and you know what I saw? A mama sea lion and her baby. She didnít even mind that I stood there. I got a bunch of pictures. The baby was making sucking noises as she slurped up her momís milk. I can feel my heart melting a little bit. Maybe this trip wonít be so bad after all.

October 3

I was getting snippy (their words, not mine) with my parents so they sent me back down to the boat dock since I was in such a good mood when I came back from there yesterday. Mom made me take my Bible and journal. I was mad and missing Evan really bad. I looked for my sea lion friends but didnít find them. Then this guy came up to me and asked me if I was Katie. I said yes. He said my parents booked a ride for me in his boat. That was pretty cool. I went with him of course. He was cute, too, but pleeeese donít tell Evan, okay?

When he stopped the boat, I sat on the edge and let my feet dangle. I flipped through my Bible, not really interested and then this verse popped out at me: ĒPraise the LORD from the earth, you creatures of the ocean depths.Ē*

As soon as I read that I saw a shadow swim up under my feet. Iím not kidding, Mrs. Wilson, I looked down and about dropped my Bible in the water. It was a sea turtle, at least thatís what dreamy Carlos told me. He pulled out the snorkels and showed us how to use them and we did. I got to go snorkeling with Carlos. Oh, did I tell you there were others on the boat, too? Rats. But he gave me special attention.

I got to swim with the sea turtles. It was awesome. And you know what? As I swam in that clear blue water it seemed like I was in a different world. A perfect world. One that knew how to praise God.

I canít wait for tomorrow. Carlos is going to come meet my parents and see if we can go on a hike. Did I tell you how hot he is? Pinch me, I must be dreaming. Oh, ummmÖ Evan? Evan who?

Authorís note: Psalm 148:7 NLT


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This article has been read 667 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Shirley McClay 02/12/09
Haha... cute story and the teen voice is very real. I am jealous that she got to swim with the turtles!! I would so LOVE to have an experience like that. Poor Evan!
Seema Bagai 02/12/09
An enjoyable story. I liked the MCs voice.
Joanne Sher 02/15/09
Darling - and you've got that voice just right! I used to talk like that! hehe. Fun piece. And yeah - poooorr Evan.
Jan Ackerson 02/16/09
Creative approach to the topic. Maybe her change of heart was a bit too quick? But you got her voice just exactly right.
Chely Roach02/16/09
I love the line, "Iíve had lots of practice at it so it should be a breeze." LOL. Superb voice. Perfectly snippy. Great job!
Bryan Ridenour02/17/09
As a youth pastor, I'm used to hearing teenagers; you got this just right! Great job!!!
Verna Cole Mitchell 02/17/09
Definitely "in the groove"! I loved it. You proved the point that teen-agers are notoriously fickle, as you stayed right on topic.
Margaret Gass02/18/09
Your MC could be one of my students...and like them, will take notice of His creation once her eyes are off herself, once she is away from her peers. Wait--that applies to us adults as well...bad attitudes are contagious. So are "too busy" attitudes. How often do we attend a church function with some reluctance, and then find that we were blessed by attending? Though students can be fickle, I'm sure Evan will be back in the picture once she gets home!
Angela M. Baker-Bridge02/19/09
Oh yeah, very believable! Good approach and writing.
LauraLee Shaw02/19/09
This is GREAT! Love it. Congrats on your Editor's Choice!!!!
Leah Nichols 02/19/09
I really enjoyed this authentic-sounding piece that explores the thought life of a teenage girl. You hit the nail on the head, and obviously the judges agree! Well done!
Catrina Bradley 02/19/09
I only wish the journal entries were longer. I love the teen voice, very accurate! My English teacher assigned journals one quarter, and you brought back memories. Congrats, Laury, this is just precious and your EC is well deserved.
Joshua Janoski04/20/09
LOL! This was hilarious and authentic at the same time. Exactly how a girl this age would act. I loved the reference about having lots of practice making her parents miserable. I also love how she forgot about Evan at the end after going on and on about him. Great story! It made me smile. :)