The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
What an adventure & very well told. And I don't mean to hurt your MC's feelings but it made me laugh. :-)
Fun story. I enjoyed it.
Mind you any story about a coffee club would grab my attention!!!
The conversational tone was just right for your adventure store, and you did a great job of bringing your characters to life--a very enjoyable read.
Where can I sign up for this club?

I loved your narrator's voice, but I was a little bit distracted by the number of parenthetical phrases.

All in all, a rollicking adventure, and VERY fun to read.
As a 27-year-old myself (who uses too many parentheses) I would say that this article sounds exactly like something I'd write (assuming, of course, that I would experience such an adventure). Well done! I liked this piece very much - it's very entertaining. :)
I always love the voices of your MCs. I also love how this had humor and action in it. At first I was laughing, and then I was wondering what was going to happen next as the kidnappers came on board. Fun writing!