The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Sweet and simple love story.
I would have liked to have known more about your main characters.
Blessings,
Norms
02/16/09
I remember reading your the first part of this. You have a few small errors you need to iron out. If you can't find them, you can private message me and ask. It's hard to find our own errors sometimes. I enjoyed getting to know your characters better. Good job!
02/18/09
This was a nice story about love and devotion. However, to me it did not ring true. Such momentous decisions about marriage and following God's call to the mission field are rarely made in such a rush, and neither ought they to be. By making so much happen in such a short time frame I felt you skated over the surface of the emotions involved. You hinted at them for sure but did not develop them. I notice you submitted this story very early in the week. Can I suggest you try letting your ideas 'brew' for a day or two longer, researching your topic and playing with a few drafts before pressing that 'submit entry' button? This way you are more likely to reach your full potential as a writer.