The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/31/09
Beautifully written, and very evocative of the time and place.

I wasn't clear on what caused Ned's change of heart. I'd have liked to be privvy to just another sentence or two of his thoughts at that point.

I love the tone of this sweet story.
02/02/09
Home is where the heart is. This is beautiful.
02/03/09
Lisa's comment makes sense. Wish there was more! Good descriptions, put us right there with him, right in his mind and heart.
02/03/09
You have a very nice writing style...I enjoyed your story, a vivid and descriptive tale...and yes, I wish you had more words to make a stronger connection as to his change of mind and heart. Great job.