The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/23/09
You took a tragic bit of history and brought it to life for us--infusing it with just enough Grace. I love it.
I read about some of the massacres; so sad. I loved the relationship between your MC and Dad Hobbs. So like Jesus with us was Dad Hobbs with the MC.
01/28/09
AWESOME!! I love this piece.

The voice of the narrator feels very authentic and steady all the way through... the two words that didn't ring true for me were the words "defined" and "lavished" and the phrase "lived the life of Christ"
The narrator voice sounds a bit native and spiritual/poetic to me and those 2 words and phrase just don't seem to be in the same flow as the rest, in my opinion. (this is picky I realize :)

For example: Instead of saying "lived the life of Christ" maybe even just "lived the Jesus life" which is less rote or "He was the hands and heart of Jesus (or Spirit) to me"

That's just my opinion. Go with your gut. ;)

You did a really tremendous job!
01/28/09
Great entry. You set the scene and drew me in.
I was intrigued from the beginning to the last paragraph. Excellent message,too.
01/29/09
Congratulations on your 2nd place, Sonya. This is very good storytelling. Your writing keeps the reader engaged. And nice job with the topic.