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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Australia or New Zealand (01/15/09)

TITLE: Mrs. Peale's Writing Assignment
By Sheri Gordon
01/21/09


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Chelsea Latham

Grade 4

Mrs. Peale

Weekly Writing #12



Monday

The place I most want to go in the hole wide world is Astrallia. I have wanted to go there for my hole life because they have cute kola bears in all the trees and I want to hug one. I have a stufed kola bear from the zoo and his name is Koly and he sits on my bed when I make it wich I donít do every day and then my mom gets mad.


Tuesday

In Astrallia there are kola bears in all the trees so you have to be carefull going under the trees because sometimes they jump on you. I donít think they want to hurt you but they just want to play. But they have long claws so sometimes they hurt you even if they donít mean to.


Wendsday

Another reason I want to go to Astrallia is because they have kangarooz that hop down the street. You have to be carefull when you go in the stores because if the kangarooz get inside there humungus tails will nock everything over and then you have to pay for it. Or they might punch things like a boxer because they do that with there arms wich is kind of funny because there arms are so short.


Thursday

Another thing about kangarooz is that they keep there babys in a pocket. And when they donít have a baby they keep food like carots and snacks and stuff in there pocket. I donít no if they have kangaroo treats in Astrallia but they should so that kids could feed them to the kangarooz like I give treats to my doggy named Scooter and like we feed the goats at the zoo so thats why I think there needs to be kangaroo treats.


Friday

Another reason I want to go to Astrallia is because I would get to ride on a plane and daddy says that there are tvs and bags of peenuts on the plane. A thing I donít like about Astrallia is it is on the bottom of the world and I might get a headake from being up side down because I get headakes when I hang up side down on the swings. But Astrallia is still the place I want to go most in the hole wide world.


The End.


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This article has been read 782 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Dianne Janak01/22/09
Loved this one... great MC voice. Creative, sweet, and fun.
Lynda Schultz 01/22/09
Love it! It must have driven your spell check crazy!
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/24/09
What fun. This entry tells me someone has seen children's writing. Your mc is "real" and delightful.
Gregory Kane01/25/09
A sweet approach at illustrating an outsider's view of Australia. I felt that the focus of the creativity was on the deliberate misspellings rather than on any particular information on Australia and that the story suffered somewhat as a result.
Jan Ackerson 01/25/09
This just killed me--so very realistic, down to the funny run-on sentences...and it also made me fall in love with that cutie pie little girl. Adorable!
Joanne Sher 01/26/09
I LOVE Chelsea. TRULY! What a cutie. The writing was so authentic to her age - did you have a child write it for you? (wink wink)
Karlene Jacobsen 01/26/09
Love the MC, so onnest and innosent.
My favorite part was the bit about hanging upside down.
Catrina Bradley 01/26/09
Chelsea makes astrallia sound cool! I want to go see the kola bears and kangarooz too! :) Fun read - I think you did a great job with the voice and the spelling.
Dee Yoder 01/26/09
This is just perfect for this age and voice! I Love the run-ons, too and the way she starts the next day like she just left off writing a minute ago...so like 4th grader. Such fun!
Loren T. Lowery01/28/09
This is too cute and you've captured that 4th grader's voice so well. The last entry reminds me of of my daughter who at once could have three best friends in the world. Oh, for the mind of a child again!
Glynis Becker 01/28/09
Love it! This sounds exactly like the journal entries my kids have done over the years...adorable!
Sonya Leigh01/28/09
There goes that humorous voice I like so much! Thanks to Gregory for his honesty...and that, notwithstanding, there's nothing like a belly full of laughs, just for the sheer fun of it. Thanks, Sheri!
Joy Faire Stewart01/28/09
Oh, Chelsea is adorable. I wanted her assignment to continue for another week!
Angela M. Baker-Bridge01/28/09
How much fun this must have been to write! Good stuff.
Sonya Leigh01/29/09
Congratulations on your EC! Keep the humor rolling...just for me, of course :)
Debbie Roome 01/29/09
This is lovely - especially the part about a headake!
Myrna Noyes01/29/09
As a former elementary teacher and homeschooling mom, I say you have perfectly captured the writing style of a 4th grader--the spelling, punctuation, run-ons, and off-topic bits!! It is so authentic in every way! (I should know, having graded so many essays just like it!!)

This piece was funny and delightful from start to finish! It truly deserves its SECOND PLACE win!! :)
Lollie Hofer 01/29/09
You "nailed" the voice. I know, I teach 3rd & 5th grade grammar. What a delightful child you have created. It would be an honor to have her in my classroom.
Beth LaBuff 01/29/09
Fun stuff to read here... and I bet it was fun to write. Congrats Sheri on your EC and level placing!