The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
What a beautiful, romantic story this is.
What a beautiful gift. I enjoyed the history lesson as well.
01/25/09
Good multigenerational story--I was especially riveted by the first half.

I think a title more deserving of this excellent writing would fit better.

I enjoyed this one!
01/25/09
You painted incredibly vivid images of the volcano's aftermath...very well written.
01/25/09
Great writing! The first half was powerful - wonderful descriptions of the eruptions and devastation.

The second half was nice surprise - like a "bonus track" on a cd after you think you've reached the end. :) It made the narrative personal. Good job bringing it all together and ending your entry.

Two thumbs up.
01/25/09
Oh, love this. I thought she would have to be content with the Springsteen tickets… I loved the ending. Is this a true story? Did you go to New Zealand..? How cool. (I hope it's true!)
This was a good read, and well written, too. Loved the surprise ending.
01/26/09
Great entry! I wondered where the story was going when you made the shift to the present, but you brought it around quite nicely.
I would suggest to take out the one sentence that starts with "Days after the eruption...." as it breaks the emotional flow of the piece when it is placed right after the words "eerie silence".
Nice work! Have you gone on the trip yet or are you going? :)
01/26/09
Wow, the first half of this story is riveting in the details of what happened to the island, and the second half gives a great fast-forward to the generation that longs to see the land told about for so long.
You have wonderful imagery for the terrible event. I loved your husband's surprise.
01/28/09
Your opening paragraph hooked me, and I was biting my nails to see how it would end. Great way to approach the topic, and very well-written.
Excellent story-telling. Thanks for sharing your talent!
01/28/09
Enjoyed this very much. The dynamics between the characters is portrayed expertly. I really enjoyed this read.
I enjoyed reading this so much as I wrote about the eruption of this volcano as well -- only in the Beginner's level. I recognized much of what you spoke of from the research I did. You did a great job describing the devastation and ruin caused by this volcano and then to add in a story to it as well at the end. Very nice.
The first half of the story really gripped me and didn't let me go. I was not aware that an event like this took place. I'm learning a lot of new stuff about Australia and New Zealand this week. Thanks for sharing this!