The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/22/09
Very good poem—an economy of words that told a complete story and left the door open to more.
An excellent story told in few words. Well done.
01/26/09
Just excellent. The cadence was just right. Wonderful
I like this story told within a poem. I found it easy to follow.
I must confess... I sometimes struggle to read poetry but I loved this. It was easy to read and an interesting take on one of the many tragic pieces of Australian history.
Very well written poem. I was not aware of this piece of history.

I'd say that this is one of my favorites this week. It was crafted well and told a unique story.
01/28/09
Masterful and a wonderful approach to the topic. Love it.
01/28/09
Excellent! The voice is just right, and the story captivatingly told.
Excellent choice of words painting a very sad time in history. I love the last stanza of hope.
01/29/09
Love the format you chose for this poem. Perfect!
Really enjoyed this one. Well done! :)
01/29/09
CONGRATULATIONS on your EC win for this wonderful story-poem!! You deserve it!! :) I was hoping someone would write on this part of Australia's history, and you did it so excellently!!!! The whole piece flowed so well!
Loved the poem Melanie, the way uou told the story of this lad's unfortunate beginnings, his move to the other side of the world and his new start with God. A couple of small corrections- it is Parkhurst, not Pankhurst (as in Emeline and the suffragettes). Initially I thought it was a fictional place, till I was sure you meant Parkhurst. I live on the Isle of Wight, about twelve miles from this prison which still exists for high security prisoners. Tennyson and J B Priestly also lived here and Queen Victoria died here at Osborne House. Lots of literary and historical connections. Anne
PS my Australia entry didn't fair well "Two little boys" but I enjoyed putting the family history in context.