The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/22/09
Aw, I really like this! I love the differences shown in the personalities. I think I'd be the morning person but my suitcase would be bulging and ripped as I always over pack and need an iron. Grin. I got a kick out of the beginning of their canoe trip and love the comparisons and descriptions. Very well done! I enjoyed this piece! :0)
01/23/09
This was hilarious, made me laugh out loud!!! Having a best friend can be such a blessing and gift, especially if you're not exactly alike. How boring would that be?
01/23/09
What fun! Love the contrasting personalities. Really enjoyed this.
01/24/09
You painted a delightful picture of a long-time friendship. I loved your characterization--felt like I knew both women and would like to be their friend and take a trip with them.
01/25/09
This has a fun, chummy feel to it. :)

I laughed at the clerk's reaction to their comfortable shoes.

One thing. Overusing words other than "he said / she said" actually draws readers away from the story onto the tag words...and/or readers will skip those words altogether.

Just a thought. :)

01/25/09
What fun women! I felt as if I wanted to be right there with them. (I'm the morning person, by the way).
01/25/09
"Easy peasy"...not! Loved the circling canoe bit, and the fun of opposite friends. Love it!
01/25/09
Nicely written story that tells 2 tales - the wonderful friendship of these women, and the story of their vacation. This was a joy to read!
01/25/09
Friends like that keep life fresh. (hehe) Love Melinda and her quirky ways.
01/25/09
Ha… I laughed at the "quel desastre!" :) and at the "pile of clothes that's breathing." The "Dr. Scholl's comfort-sole shoes and points to a safe an cumbersome paddle boat" was great. You have so much fun stuff in this and your ending is comfy.
01/25/09
I adore your women. Love the comparison of the canoe ride and their friendship, too. This was great!
01/25/09
The two opposite personalities made this very entertaining...loved their friendship and humor.
01/26/09
My friend Ericka and I share that kind of friendship....she's the morning person, I'm the late sleeper! :) Fun story!
01/26/09
Your descriptions are excellent (loved the line about lattes - HA!) and the words you choose are just sublime. I feel like I really know these ladies now (and I'm thinking I may need to take a trip with my own "Melinda")! Great job.
01/26/09
I'm not sure if this story was true or fictional, but it had a very authentic feel to it. If it was fictional, you did a very good job making it seem like a true firsthand experience.

I'll admit that the opening sentence didn't really draw me in, but after I got past it, then I was hooked. I especially liked the ending. I thought that you wrapped things up quite nicely. Good job! :)
01/27/09
What a fun trip. I enjoyed their friendship, different personalities and realistic dialogue.
01/28/09
I'm so glad someone wrote about my home! I went punting on the River Avon with some friends last week - but in style where we just sat and relaxed and the punter pushed the boat along. Great story.