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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Australia or New Zealand (01/15/09)

TITLE: A Few Kangaroos Loose in the Top Paddock
By Teresa Lee Rainey


Proverbs 3:5 (NIV) 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding:'. . .


Right now, I want to cry. I want to scream and cry ‘til my voice is gone. When my voice is gone, I want to find the dimwit bushwacker who stole my handbag and give him a good earbashing.

I come here to Seaspray on holiday, thinking there’ll be no worries. I walk out to the beach to take a swim and now my handbag’s gone. Now I’ve got worries.

What’s a girl to do? Perhaps those two blokes can help me.
“Did you two see the bushwhacker who knocked off my handbag?”

“Think she’s been sippin’ the amber fluid? She seems a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock.”

Are they talking about me?

“She looks good in ‘er bathers though, don’t she. Seems she‘s ready to chuck a spaz. Maybe she is plonked. Least she’s got no ankle biter’s runnin’ ‘round.”

They are talking about me! “You two can listen to me at any tic of the clock. I‘m getting quite cheesed off at the two of you.”

“Easy on now. No reason to chuck a wabbly. We’ve not seen any bloke go by with a handbag.”

What nerve he has! “Well now I‘m fed up the back teeth! I kid you not, my handbag was in plain sight, right by my thongs, and now it’s gone! Can you quit fooling around and help me find the flaming bushwacker?!”

“Listen Sheila. Don’t get all narked with me. Why’d ya lug your handbag to the beach anyway?”

Uuuggghhh! “How do I know you aren’t the shonky bloke who stole it?!”

“Well, you’re quite up a gum tree aren’t ya! Is this your quilt?”

As if I’d be standing by someone else‘s quilt, asking for help. “Yes.”

“Why don’t we ‘ave a gander underneath. Well isn’t this the dingo's breakfast. Is this your handbag?”

Holy Dooley! “I feel like a fruit loop.”

“No worries. Can this bloke at least get a pash for easin’ your worries and findin’ your handbag?”

Buckley‘s chance. “Oh, buzz off. There’ll be none of that between us. Still, I‘m quite wrapped. Thanks heaps.”

“Come on, Mate. Ya gave it a fair go. Don’t make the Sheila think you’re a perve.”

“Ok. Let’s jet. She does look good in ‘er bathers though, even if she‘s not the full quid.”

Aren’t I a sook. Thank you, Lord, for sending those grouse mates. Now maybe I can flake out and enjoy a sunbake.

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This article has been read 595 times
Member Comments
Member Date
darlene hight01/22/09
Toooo much fun! But I think that I need an interpreter :>
Esther Gellert01/23/09
Ha ha. Too funny. I had to read this out to hubby. We understood it, and we've even swum at Seaspray. Maybe when the challenge is finished you should put an interpretation of this on the message boards.
By the way... to any non-Australians, 'thongs' are a form of footwear. :)
Karlene Jacobsen 01/23/09
Glad I did some research. This Michigan-USA girl understood the entire conversation! (LOL)
Linda Payne01/25/09
I love languages and all the different varieties of words. I enjoyed your entry for the humor and all the wonderful words.
Catrina Bradley 01/26/09
A great fun to read! :)
Eliza Evans 01/26/09
Really creative and fun entry!