Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: The USA (01/08/09)
TITLE: Bush-Cocky’s Guide to the USA
By David Butler
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“ARE YOU KIDDIN’ ME?”
“Yeah, right! Pull the other one!”
“In more strife than Ned Kelly, stuck in his armor without a can-opener.”
Idea the Yanks took on from watching the movies “Man from Snowy River” and “Croc Dundee”. Most of ‘em are young lairs like a lot of our young stockoes from beyond the Black Stump, but they aint got the croc’s teeth in their Acoobras. Like our young blokes, they get as silly as a two-bob watch when they down a few tinnies. Ya gotta be as fit as a Mallee bull to be orright, but.
STATUE OF LIBERTY
Humungous big sheila stuck out in the middle of the bay, holdin’ up a flamin’ big vanilla ice-cream cone. Most of it’s melted and covered her with the stuff, that’s why she’s so white-lookin’. Hard yakka, havin’ to stand like that for so long. Must feel like a bandicoot on a burnt ridge, poor girl. Good way to rally the troops, but. A bit like the Ted Whitten statue at the G.
An old codger from way-back with lairy toges on. They reckon he was a gun-runner in that big blue the yanks had with the Poms, way back in the year dot. Before my time, that was. Would’a been grouse to've seen it -- it was on for young and old, for sure. Anyhow, the yanks got the best of it, gave the Poms the flick and started their own push. Ol' Sammo’s been famous ever since, ‘cause they stuck his pikkie up all over the place, especially when the Yanks wanna recruit young fellas for another punch-up. Dunno why they show his face on it, but. You’d think he would’a carked it by now. I reckon they’d get more young blokes joinin’ if they had a grouse sort like Mazza Munroe up there instead.
“The whole flamin’ lot o’ youz.”
“You li’l rippa!” or “Beaudy, bottler!”
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