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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The USA (01/08/09)

TITLE: Bush-Cocky’s Guide to the USA
By David Butler
01/15/09


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Excerpts from the Unauthorised Ozzie Encyclopaedia, compiled from interviews with knowledgeable middle-aged graziers and gold prospectors at the bar of the Budgedijibrogalong Hotel, Northern Territory. These include informed, expert explanations of some key icons and expressions characteristic of USA culture.


“ARE YOU KIDDIN’ ME?”

“Yeah, right! Pull the other one!”


“BUSTED”

“In more strife than Ned Kelly, stuck in his armor without a can-opener.”


COWBOY

Idea the Yanks took on from watching the movies “Man from Snowy River” and “Croc Dundee”. Most of ‘em are young lairs like a lot of our young stockoes from beyond the Black Stump, but they aint got the croc’s teeth in their Acoobras. Like our young blokes, they get as silly as a two-bob watch when they down a few tinnies. Ya gotta be as fit as a Mallee bull to be orright, but.


STATUE OF LIBERTY

Humungous big sheila stuck out in the middle of the bay, holdin’ up a flamin’ big vanilla ice-cream cone. Most of it’s melted and covered her with the stuff, that’s why she’s so white-lookin’. Hard yakka, havin’ to stand like that for so long. Must feel like a bandicoot on a burnt ridge, poor girl. Good way to rally the troops, but. A bit like the Ted Whitten statue at the G.


UNCLE SAM

An old codger from way-back with lairy toges on. They reckon he was a gun-runner in that big blue the yanks had with the Poms, way back in the year dot. Before my time, that was. Would’a been grouse to've seen it -- it was on for young and old, for sure. Anyhow, the yanks got the best of it, gave the Poms the flick and started their own push. Ol' Sammo’s been famous ever since, ‘cause they stuck his pikkie up all over the place, especially when the Yanks wanna recruit young fellas for another punch-up. Dunno why they show his face on it, but. You’d think he would’a carked it by now. I reckon they’d get more young blokes joinin’ if they had a grouse sort like Mazza Munroe up there instead.


“YA’LL”

“The whole flamin’ lot o’ youz.”


“YEEHA!”

“You li’l rippa!” or “Beaudy, bottler!”


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This article has been read 701 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Betty Castleberry01/15/09
LOL! This is fun, and has got me smiling this morning.

However, this Texan has to take issue with the part about cowboys. ;0)

Well done.
Connie Dixon01/15/09
Okay then. With that said, what was said, anyway? I think we just got poked fun at! Thanks, it was fun.
Lynda Schultz 01/15/09
Just goes to show you that even though we speak the same language (supposedly), we really don't speak the same language at all! Huge fun.
Dara Sorensen01/16/09
LOL, I didn't understand half of the slang used here :P But it was still funny, especially seeing that though the language is technically the same, dialect and slang can sometimes make it hard to understand one another.
Karen Wilber 01/16/09
LOL. You gotta admit it's much easier to say "y'all" than "the whole flamin.....whatever" ;-)
Verna Cole Mitchell 01/18/09
Really fun...my favorite was the Statue of Liberty.
Jan Ackerson 01/20/09
Love it! Maybe next week we'll have "turnabout is fair play". Lots and lots of fun to read this.
Joanne Sher 01/21/09
Now THIS is out of the box. Can't even SEE the box LOL. You must have had a BLAST with this one!! LOVE it.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge01/21/09
You must have been shocked after submitting this to learn Australia-New Zealand was next :) Are you writing a sequel?