The Official Writing Challenge
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This is an incredible weaving of two of the greatest moral crises of our nation. We are, indeed, engaged in a moral civil war over the personhood of the pre-born, and ironically, the descendants of those who so valiantly struggled for and won their personhood 150 years ago, are now disproportionate victims of the lie that "it is just a blob of tissue, not a person." Unfortunately, the pre-born are unable to join those of us who would defend them in protesting the denial of their right to self-determination.
The tenderness of your writing brought tears to my eyes.
01/16/09
Superb--from the title through the last word, this is tender and full of grace.
This story has so many layers, from, most of them relating to various kinds of freedom. What an outstanding piece!
This story woven beautifully together is a favorite for me this week.
01/18/09
I got so caught up in the historical part that I almost missed the connection to Eliza's abortion. Powerful story and message--just because the government and courts allow it doesn't make it right. Well done.
01/20/09
In my opinion the last 2 paragraphs of dialog are excellent and really feel authentic and paint a picture of the character of these 2 women. Great job! You have a gift with dialog! I especially like Momma's voice.

Is subhuman a word used from the court case? If not, I don't think it is a word Momma would have used.

I felt like you jumped into "she knew" a little quick. I couldn't see how the girl could know so easily. Perhaps Momma could have reached into her pocket and started unfolding that familiar piece of paper, or something.

Similes like
"50 pound sandbags" are a bit heavy (punny!) as is "seared my flesh with her eyes" They actually detract from the flow of the story, in my opinion. Saying "tears bleeding" is not as effective, I don't think, as describing the look on Momma's face or how she pressed a tight fist against her mouth and sobbed "Why didn't you tell me?" ... or something. Show vs Tell.

Love the title and how it ties in with the last line. Lovely and creative. :)

I enjoyed the history here and thought the love between mother and daughter was beautiful. :)
Great title for a complex piece of writing. Fascinating take on the topic.
01/21/09
Absolutely excellent. Atmosphere, characterization, dialogue - everything. This is my favorite so far.
01/21/09
This is an incredible entry. Amazing how you wove these two horrible events in our history (and present) into one story. Excellent job with the topic.
I was drawn into the story by the first paragraph and was riveted through to the last word. Very touching and amazing writing.
01/21/09
Such an excellent story and masterfully crafted. I'd never heard the penny tradition before (so interesting).
01/22/09
Congratulations on your EC. I really, really like this story and how you wove the two tragedies together. Great job.
01/22/09
Wonderful writing with a lovely, touching ending! CONGRATULATIONS on your EC! :)
Oh how heartbreaking. Two definitely tragic parts of our history, wove into a heartbreaking story.
01/26/09
This is touching, powerful, emotional, and a well deserved winner. I loved your descriptive phrases which drew pictures in my mind. Great job.