Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: The USA (01/08/09)
TITLE: Say What?
By Allison Egley
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(Actual news shows excluded.)</center>
*Pillows in the US are incredibly weak, and if they are swung in the air and hit something, they will immediately burst, sending feathers flying everywhere. (Actually, these pillows probably aren't made in the US in the first place, but that's beside the point.)
*When you wake up to your radio alarm, the DJ will always have perfect timing and be saying "Goooooddddddddddd morning [insert city name here]! Rise and shine!" It will never wake you up while the station is in the middle of a song.
*When different family members have crises, they are usually related to one another and can be solved in thirty minutes or less. They will end with children hugging their parents and thanking them for solving their problems.
*High speed police chases are the norm
*Dream sequences are always in full color, and frequently have a full musical background, including live singing and dancing.
*Groups of people spontaneously breaking into the same song and dance is frequent.
*Children's prayers are only heard if they are kneeling by their bedside with the moonlight shining upon their faces.
*Most homes have two sets of stairs to the upstairs bedrooms: One in the living room and one in the kitchen.
*In high school, the halls are only crowded for about 30 seconds, after which two people and only two people will be standing in the hall talking. Everyone arrives to their next class on time, and the only people late are the two remaining in the hall.
*Every high school has an amazing open air, outdoor campus, and the main building looks like a European college building.
*College dorm rooms are always neatly decorated and coordinated.
*You get the dial-tone immediately when the other party hangs up the phone.
*All houses have a fenced in yard and your neighbors are either your best friends or worst enemies.
*Paper boys on bicycles will always hit the lawn gnome with the paper, and the said lawn gnome is a tell-tale sign of a strange neighbor.
*All infomercials include people who scream and yell about the glories of their product and how you cannot possibly live a productive life unless you order this product within the next ten minutes. Oh wait. That one's not a misconception. That one's true. Never mind. Good ol' US of A.
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