The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/11/08
Somewhere the tables got turned in this story and how you did it with such a subtle touch is really impressive. Very nice work.
"I was Skip's partner in a life play and knew my part well," sums up the relationship of your two zany characters perfectly. I went along on their jaunt for a doughnut and savored it. You have a master touch with descriptive details. Great story!
12/13/08
I wish I could write this well. I am so impressed - the description, the dialogue, the deliberate understatement, the characterisation. Sensational.
Bravo! This is excellent. I enjoyed the story and could picture the entire thing.
This is great! Love the casual "bad boy" voice in this piece. Very well done.
12/14/08
Great descriptions and superb dialogue. I enjoyed this so much. Great storytelling.
It ended to soon... I was really enjoyin' it.
I thought your MC's were realistic. The mousy one who follows and the bossy one who leads is how I've experienced growing up. (Me the mousy one)
12/15/08
Excellent voice, super writing, and an entertaining story. Well done!!!
12/16/08
Good job, leaving us wanting more, wanting to know what happens. Subtle, yet clear as a bell.
Have to agree with everyone else. . . this is great. Your characters came to life as I read. And the way you allowed the follower to humbly - quietly - begin to lead. . . wonderful. :)
What they said... :)
12/18/08
Love the dialogue as they banter back and forth, and the realistic depth of the two characters. Well done.
12/19/08
Heehee! I love the twist in this. The title doesn't quite hint at what this is about, so I very much enjoyed this little glimpse into the lives of these very interesting characters. I liked the end though, when he finally stood up to Skip. The dialouge is very well done! ^_^