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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: The Reason for the Season of Christmas (12/04/08)

TITLE: Mop and bucket at the Lamb & Psalmist
By Keith Wallis


Mop and bucket at the Lamb & Psalmist.
Phew, what a day. The boss has got this place filled tight as a Roman’s breast plate. It’s census see – all the Roman’s {spit} idea - folk have got to go back to their home towns to register their names. Well, how’d you like to have to do it? How far would you have to go ? And it ain’t as if it was voluntary - the Romans {spit} don’t do ‘voluntary’! I’m lucky though, we’ve lived here since David was a shepherd. Anyway the boss has got the place busting at the seams, and me running ragged keeping them happy.
Then, earlier today, this couple turn up with their donkey – come all the way from Nazareth they have. Donkey looked exhausted and so the boss says: ‘We’ve got some space in the animal room’. I thought he’d taken pity on the poor animal and was just offering put the donkey up. Oh no, not Jacob-the-miser, he was inventing an annex for the Inn. There he was thanking the Romans {spit} for their brilliant idea to boost the tourist industry – thinking all his Christmasses had come at once. Ooops, I can’t say that can I, ‘cos Christmas hasn’t come yet has it! He didn’t notice that the girl on the donkey was in the ‘family way’. That’ll come back and bite him on the bum, I thought, don’t reckon she’ll see the night out without needing a midwife. All the ruckus of childbirth’ll keep the guests awake, money grubbing git will have some apologising to do.
Warned him I did – it’ll all go Caesarea Phillipi. He don’t listen though, bad as asking a Roman {spit} to spare a denarius.
Some of the locals came in earlier this evening, well they would have done if the place wasn’t so full, actually they put their heads round the door to say something odd was going on. I stepped outside for a moment – a comfort break - and they were right. There was ‘something’, even about the feel of the air, as if everything was on hold and waiting. Stranger still, up on the hill there was some odd lights in the sky. Could have been the Romans {spit} up to something but whatever it was it’ll get the UFO geeks stirred up. I thought ‘that’ll scare the shepherds’, smelly blighters.
All of a sudden it started getting noisy in the cow shed. Boss came running down stairs – thought I’d give him some encouragement – ‘Told you so!’, I offered. He said they were family and anyway it’s all about Christmas. What does he know about Christmas. Then ‘all heaven let loose’ – what a night.

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This article has been read 394 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Colin Swann12/13/08
Sounds like slobbish present day comments (spit). Fun read - spaces between paragraphs helps for easier reading. (spit) LOL. Col

All the best for the coming Christmas and New Year!
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/16/08
I love the voice of your narrator. This is a delightful look at the Christmas story.

(Your story would be easier to read with spaces between paragraphs.)
Joe Moreland12/16/08
I love this! It would make a great monologue in a play. You should write it. The contradictions and out of frame references (Christmas, Ceasarean and Holiday Inn humor) all made it that much more fun. Great job!