The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/13/08
I enjoyed this. Jesus does some wonderful things in people's lives, Praise Him!

Thank you for sharing. Col.

Have a wonderful Christmas!

12/16/08
Love this. There are so many children hurting just like little Joey. Yet one kind act through Christ love can change a life. Love how you showed this so very well. :)
12/16/08
This was very good, we all need to be able to reach out to those who don't know His love.
12/16/08
Love your MC's voice.

The only red ink I might offer is the ending seemed a bit pat. It was almost tied up too neatly. Probably that pesky word limitation. ;0)

That doesn't change the fact that this is a sweet story with a great message. Nicely done.
12/16/08
Thank God for the Martha's of this world.....but for the Joey's.....your story makes me want to do more. It is compelling. Too often we turn our backs when we can truly make a difference if we reach out. Great message.
12/16/08
It's amazing how one kind act can help leave a crack in the window where Jesus can come in later.
Well done.
12/16/08
I really like how you made God's love real to Joey.
12/16/08
This has an appealing, fable-like quality to it.

I just wish Martha had called the authorities upon seeing a battered 6-year-old out on his own. THEN she could talk to him about Jesus.

Excellent job with the dialogue.
12/16/08
Unfortunately, this happens all too frequently. I love your characters and you have written them well. Your heart goes out to all the Joeys in this world and wish there were more people like Martha. Well done.
12/17/08
Your opening is awesome (the writing of course, NOT the circumstances). Drew me right in, right away. I liked the dialogue between the two, Joey's voice was sweet and authentic. Nice ending too - well written story.
12/17/08
You certainly drew me in here with a brutally violent opening. The descriptions of the boy's pain, isolation and confusion were excellent.
I felt the Martha scene wasn't quite true to life. She seemed to jump straight in to some pretty heavy stuff for a 6 year-old who knew nothing about Jesus at all. I do realise however that you are not implying he got it all together in that one meeting...
I loved the way you brought his Mum back in, and that he wasn't bitter towards her but wanted her to believe. Total forgiveness and total healing!
12/17/08
I'm so moved by this story. What a roller-coaster of emotion you've written! Great job getting inside this battered child's head, and telling us his thoughts.