The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/05/08
Well told. It certainly makes me want to know the details of the true story. I smiled at the bit about 'what do you say to a tramp?' I also liked the fact that the man was portrayed as a real guy, (even a bit of a rough diamond?) with a back pack and tatoos. Suits and big black Bibles just don't work in this setting! Given that there have been a number of entries this quarter about the homeless, some readers may find the first section a bit 'stale'. I can't see much you can do about that though. I felt you did a good job of portraying the man's bitterness and the way love melted his heart.
12/05/08
This is written vividly so as to give your readers a clear glimpse of how choices we make can affect us for decades. The "hippie" character was very real to me and your story drives home a point we should live daily--love others as God loves us. Thank you for this.
12/08/08
Wonderful job capturing and relating the character of the homeless man. Your words flow beautifully, and not a wasted word among them.
12/09/08
As Sharon has said, I too was anticipating another 'think of the less fortunate' homeless story. But your story changed tack so dramatically with the appearance of the young evangelist and you pulled off that transition extremely well. Again you didn't go for a sudden and implausible conversion but you left the reader with hope ringing in his ears. Well done.
12/09/08
Great title, love your 4th paragraph. Maybe just a tad predictable? But as always, the writing is simply superb.
I think many have heard enough preaching, what you showed was living. That's what people need.
Your portrayal of this was superb.