The Official Writing Challenge
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This was very unique. I liked the contrast between the two families and how they celebrate Christmas. but most of all, I liked the two MC's and their longing for each other . It reminded me of how I felt when I was awy from my boyfriend in college on Christmas Day.A little red ink: I had to read it a couple of times to uinderstand who was talking to who on the phone. At first I thought maybe they were coressponding conversations, but then I figured it out. Could be just my "slowness" ! Overall, a good entry and read.
You can really feel the angst between the two of them. ah love.. isn't it fun? i love how you capture both characters in their own way.
I *really* like this piece, and I love this paragraph:

"Before I reclaim the patched easy chair, I add a log to the stove. The frosty breath on my ankles reminds me how December creeps in through the baseboards and the window frames of the old farmhouse. I poke the embers with a stick, and flames stretch and jump, chasing the chill out of the room."

It really makes me feel as if I am there. Great, homey description.

Well done.
12/09/08
It took me a minute to get the one-sided conversations figured out. But as for the rest of it, I loved it! Maybe it's cause for the first time I have a boy to think about for Christmas, though he'll probably come and spend time with my family. Nicely done!
12/09/08
I'm sure we can all identify with this - the pain of being separated from the one we have just started to love because of family commitments. I think you communicated the raw emotions very well. As has already been said, I didn't work out what was going on until right near the end. So it's maybe a little to subtle at the beginning?
12/09/08
Cat, I love this, and I wasn't at all confused...and I really love that the girl will soon be part of a family that really honors Christmas, if all goes as it seems to be going...
I enjoyed this romantic Christmas story very much! Your excellent descriptions made it so easy to feel as though I was actuslly there.
12/09/08
Totally enjoyed the one-sided conversations and the contrast in the two families - one with material things and one with Jesus! Incredible where you felt the warmth, isn't it?
Excellent! Love the contrast of the two families, and the one-sided conversations - I wasn't confused either. With them, it's like I read 'between the lines' what the other said. Good job!
Awe, too bad they couldn't share Christmas together with each family. Next year...:)
Oh to be young and in love again...:)
12/10/08
It took me a minute to figure it out--but once I had, it reminded me of how my husband and I felt the Christmas before we got married. Nice job of capturing the conflicting emotions!
12/10/08
I liked seeing into both families lives. I smiled at the "this year's Christmas Tree creation" and "Her gaudiest tree yet". :) Then your farmhouse descriptions took me back to Iowa, "December creeps in through the baseboards and the window frames". You must write a sequel. :)
Hey, I rushed through this the other day and in my hurry, I got confused. Today, I took my time and really enjoyed the read. No confusion except that it took me one second to realize who was coming out of the bathroom - him or her. Still - it is a beautiful love story and I enjoyed every word. :)
So much to like about this piece, all the way from something's changed and it was me, to find out someone else really likes and listens to the Carpenters! Their "On Top of the World" was my wife's and mine dating song : ) Thanks for the memory. But above all, you have done a wonderful job of creating atmosphere and the descriptions are absolutely masterful! Loren