The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
12/04/08
Isn't it amazing how our best intentions get messed up? Very good story with a great message! Very timely.
12/06/08
This line is so relevant for today, “It was a Happy Holiday this year and not a Merry Christmas.” I imagine 99.9% of families can relate to this. Nice writing.
It's so easy to get caught up in any given day and forget that it's because of HIM that we even have that day to live.
Well written.
12/10/08
It's so easy to get caught up in the "doings" of the day, that we forget our best intentions. Realistic scenarios in this story, especially the way the day progresses!
12/10/08
Oh you're so right - this was a VERY important message! Nice pace too, I was rooting for him and then felt his disappointment as he fell asleep. Maybe a bit more description of the MC's feelings - like the tugs/distraction that he felt, etc. may have added a bit more beef to the story. Great overall though, thanks for writing it.
12/10/08
Great job, Josh! A timely message, and well-communicated within the context of the story. That's our tradition, too....no presents until after Luke 2!
: ) This is one message that can't be repeated too often, especially this time of year. Maybe, this year it will actually sink in. Great job, Josh, you told it in a most engaging way!
It is so easy to put Christ on the back burner any time, but it seems it's even easier at Christmas, the very day we should be remembering him. Thanks for reminding us again what the season is really about. This was well written.
12/10/08
I think you tried to fit too much day into too few words, leaving a kind of empty feeling - I didn't really get to know the characters - not enough details to give this story "meat". I was also confused as to who spoke the first line - I guess it was the husband, but his action-tag should have been in the same paragraph as his quote. It could have easily been the wife, because at the end it was the husband who was lamenting that he was right about Jesus being left out of the day.

I do love the message - and it came across strongly - that, even with the best intentions, Jesus can get pushed aside when something else comes up. An "I'll do it later" attitude. This message is not just for Christmas, but one we need to be mindful of all year. I'm glad they decided to finally invite the Birthday Boy to His party. :)
It took me a few lines to get into the story, then I kept thinking - poor guy. Your message did come across very well. So glad you wrapped it up with his being able to read the Christmas story after all. :)