The Official Writing Challenge
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How beautiful! God speaks to all who will listen - and their lives - regardless of their circumstances and in the most unexpected places -are changed forever.
12/07/08
This is well done. You didn't rush your story but allowed it to unfold in its own time, dropping in key info as the details unfolded. Likewise it came to a satisfactory conclusion, not an unbelievable instantaneous conversion but a slow, steady return to life and faith.
My one quibble would be that you introduced friend Dan as a strategic character in the story but then you failed to develop him. That said, the rest works well.
I like the way you developed this story. It held my attention, beginning to end.
I also liked the surprise entrance of Friend Dan who, it is presumed, showed her the door that lead to her "third life".