Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Four Ways For A Christian Writer To Win A Publishing Package HERE



The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Home for Christmas (11/20/08)

TITLE: Pizza for Christmas?
By Angela M. Baker-Bridge
11/25/08


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Julie’s hand trembled as she gripped the brass knocker on the burgundy door. It wasn’t December’s wind-chill that made her shutter. Taking a deep breath, she inhaled the pine scent of the live garland gracing the doorframe. Her eyes reflected the glowing Christmas lights draped on bushes and trees. Making a fist, Julie pounded on the door. The only sound she heard came from a car crunching along the snow-covered street.

She slumped onto the brick steps. Gazing at the welcome mat, warm tears began flowing down her cold cheeks. Julie wrapped her arms around herself. Her nose dripped, but she didn’t care. “Was this a mistake?” she whispered.

During her freshman year in college, Julie’s parents filed for divorce. After hearing the news, she refused to go home for Christmas break. She could have spent the twenty-one days with her roommate’s family at their winter cabin. She declined, unwilling to witness a loving family while mourning the loss of her own. She volunteered to work on campus, watched old movies every night, and ordered pizza for Christmas dinner.

To avoid staying with either parent during summer break, Julie enrolled in summer classes.

For Julie’s sophomore Christmas break, she could have spent the twenty-one days with her father and his new wife in the Caribbean. She declined, unwilling to watch her father swoon over a woman who wasn’t her mother. She decided to visit her grandmother instead. When she arrived at the nursing home, her grandmother didn’t recognize her. Julie slept on a cot next to her grandmother. She volunteered around the facility, watched old movies every night, and ordered pizza for Christmas dinner. Grammie ate through a feeding tube.

Again, Julie enrolled in summer classes. She briefly saw her father at Grammie’s funeral.

By Julie’s junior year, she was homesick. She wanted to see her family for Christmas. Julie’s mother sent plane tickets. She would spend the twenty-one days with mother and her new husband. The first night, Julie caught her stepfather staring at her breasts. When she glared at him, he slowly licked his bottom lip. The next day, he tried brushing up against her in the hallway. She packed, called a cab, and checked into a motel without saying goodbye. Julie told her story to the motel manager, who hired her to clean rooms. Julie worked all day, watched old movies every night, and ordered pizza for Christmas dinner.

As Julie began her senior year, she met a handsome thirty-one year old man in the campus library. Thomas took evening graduate courses. He lived twenty-five miles away. Because he worked days and weekends, she only saw him on campus three nights a week. Their chemistry was instant, the romance remarkable, the passion intoxicating. For the first time since her parents’ divorce, she was happy. She finally felt special. She belonged to someone. She started to trust again, believe in love, marriage, a family of her own, and happily ever after.

She suggested they spend Thanksgiving together. “Sorry Julie, but I always go skiing with my buddies during Thanksgiving week. I promise we’ll spend Christmas together.”

Julie never heard from Thomas after Thanksgiving. No text messages, emails, phone calls, nothing. He dropped his classes. Panic-stricken, she tried tracking him down. Her research led her to the burgundy door, with the painted welcome mat reading, “The Thomas Hendersons.”

“He’s right; his parents are loaded—guess he’s a junior?”

Julie stood up, lightheaded, nauseated. She broke an icicle from the roof’s gutter and sucked the frozen water. Trudging through snow, she headed toward the bus stop. On her way, she noticed the little neighborhood church was open. She hadn’t attended church in years, but needed shelter.

Inside, the aroma of fresh baked cookies increased Julie’s hunger pangs. Following the sound of laughter, she discovered women filling food baskets.

“Can I help you?”

Julie didn’t know how to answer, but her broken heart did. For hours, she shared with the pastor’s wife. She also learned the house with the burgundy door belonged to Thomas and his wife.

Touching her stomach, she sobbed. “Now what?”

“Julie, once there was another pregnant woman who needed a room on Christmas Eve. God provided for her and her child. He’ll do the same for you, if you’ll let Him. There’s a room, and a home, for you and your baby in our house—and not just for Christmas.”

Julie accepted both invitations—still watched old movies, but never ordered pizza for Christmas dinner again.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
Accept Jesus as Your Lord and Savior Right Now - CLICK HERE
JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 666 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Leah Nichols 11/27/08
Wow....very poignant piece. I felt drawn to her character from the first few sentences. Well done!
Marijo Phelps12/01/08
Wow - good "grabber" and well done character. I could feel her angst and she ended up in the right home after all that.
Diana Dart 12/01/08
So, so sad for this girl... you captured her emotions very well. Got a little lost between the descriptions of her college holidays to her being (back) at the burgundy door. I did pick up on it, but had to re-read a little. Maybe repeating her question as she slumped on the steps again??? Then again, maybe it was just me getting lost - known to happen. Great piece, so emotional.
Jan Ackerson 12/01/08
I love the repetition here--very effective!

I only got lost a bit in the last two paragraphs, trying to figure out who was offering her the invitation. A bit of clarification there and this piece is golden!

I really, really enjoyed this piece--it's quite "writerly".
Jan Ackerson 12/01/08
Whoops, I just re-read. That last bit is perfectly clear--a distraction had caused me to skip a par. or two.

So I take it back. Wonderful story, beginning to end!
Teresa Lee Rainey12/02/08
This is such a good story! For some reason, I had to go back to catch who Thomas was too???? After re-reading, it is clear that Thomas was a married man - don't know why I missed it.

Really, Really felt for your MC and was captured by your story from the beginning. :)
c clemons12/02/08
Some good content, some areas are a little rough, hence the reread that everyone has to do to follow your flow. Perhaps a new title or leave off the question mark. The ending jumped from present to future in the same sentence. Keep writing.
Betty Castleberry12/02/08
I like the repetition you used in this piece. You made me feel sympathy for your MC. Nicely done.
Connie Dixon12/03/08
Loved the story. I felt there was a lot of depth in the mc, and enjoyed the way you brought her out of herself. Good job!
Catrina Bradley 12/03/08
I didn't have trouble following the story, maybe because I saw your request and was reading carefully. I think this is masterful writing. The "personal" scenes were full of emotion. My only ink would be that the switch in voice during the timeline section threw me a bit... But not necessarily in a bad way, because it's brilliantly written. :) Loved Julie's story, and the ending was perfect.
Joanne Sher 12/05/08
Masterfully written, Angel. No wonder this did well, dear. I was absolutely captivated throughout. Excellent, excellent characterization. Wow.