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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 – Advanced)
Topic: Home for Christmas (11/20/08)

TITLE: The Promise
By George Parler
11/25/08


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The Christmas party is buzzing, waiting for the guest of honor to arrive. David is finally home from his second tour of duty, just two days before Christmas.

"Everyone, David and his father will be here from the airport in about two minutes."

Mary glows with joy as her heart pounds, remembering her daily prayers for David's safe return. For the second time, her prayers have been answered. The wait is now over, and the weight is lifted from her shoulders. Staring past her reflection in the frosted window into the winter night, she watches for the headlights that will bring her David home.

A hand touches Mary's shoulder. "Thank God - David is home, Momma."

"Yes, Nancy, thank God." Mary pats Nancy's hand. "I was so upset with your brother for volunteering to go to war. But there is no denying; David is a true patriot and he loves his country. You know, he promised me before he left that he would be with us for Christmas. Because of Godís protection, David was able to keep his promise to me."

"THEY'RE HERE!" someone shouts.

Everyone waits anxiously. The door opens, and cheers erupt as David enters the doorway. Wading through the hugs, handshakes, and pats on the back, he finds his way to Mary, who stands motionless, soaking in every detail of her son.

"I'm home, Momma." The room falls silent as mother and son embrace.

Applause breaks the silence.

"Momma, I have a favor to ask you...."

"Ask me, David. You know I will." Mary assures.

"I brought a friend home with me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before now but -"

"But nothing, David; your friend is certainly welcome. Where is he?" Mary looks to David Senior, trying to understand why he left David's friend out in the cold.

"Momma, he had no one to come home to. His parents have passed away. He has no family. He doesn't have anyone . . . but me. He saved my life, Momma. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't have made it home like I promised."

Mary steps up to David, taking his hand. "I must meet this man, David. Our home is his home. Now you go bring him into this house."

David kisses Mary on the cheek and goes out to the car.

As she hears the front door open, Mary wipes her tears and prepares to meet the man that has saved her son's life.

David steps through the door, carrying a battered combat helmet and a folded American flag close to his chest. The room is speechless as David walks to the fireplace and places the helmet on the mantle along with a picture of a soldier. Carefully, he places the flag next to the helmet. He stares at the items on the mantle. Looking down, he examines the medals on his chest. Removing his Purple Heart, he places it between the helmet and flag. David steps back from the mantle, saluting the man who saved his life, US Marine Private First Class, Nathan Parks. Then he turns, facing his mother and the still speechless crowd.

"Nathan Parks is not just my friend, he is my brother. Going through hell and back many times, we watched each other's back. He has no surviving family. He always reminded me of how blessed I am. He was right.

"While on recon, Nathan and I entered a building that was booby-trapped. I didn't see the trip wire."

David's tears begin to flow.

"Nathan pushed me out of the building and -"

David swallows, trying to maintain his composure.

"When I regained consciousness in the hospital, I was told that Nathan was gone.

"When we returned to the states I waited to see who would come for him. No one came so I stayed until he was laid to rest. I know this looks strange but I promised Nathan that when we made it back he would come home with me for Christmas."

David fights the lump in his throat. "I made a promise, Momma."

Mary raises her chin and wipes her tears. Taking Davidís hand, she turns with him to face the mantle.

"Nathan Parks, welcome to our home." Mary speaks in tranquil peace. "I thank you for your sacrifice for your country and for the life of our son. Your memory will always be in this house and in the heart of this grateful mother. We are your family now. Welcome home, Son. Welcome home."


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This article has been read 945 times
Member Comments
Member Date
cindy yarger11/28/08
I cried - very moving!
Jan Ackerson 12/01/08
Very moving story!

I found the present tense a tad awkward here...try a re-write in past tense sometime, and see if it sounds more natural.

Great cast of characters...thanks for the sweet story.

Teresa Lee Rainey12/01/08
This entry is beautiful. I cried. Shame on you for making me cry!

Seriously, with a cousin in Iraq this Christmas season, this hits home. Thank you for writing this emotional entry. :)
Joy Faire Stewart12/01/08
Very emotional story that tears at the heartstrings...excellent and unique take on topic.
Verna Cole Mitchell 12/01/08
You do know how to tug at the heart strings.--Beautiful story, excellently written.
Betty Castleberry12/02/08
Even though your characters are fictional (I'm assuming), I still feel as though I want to thank them for their service. I'm proud of your MC and his dedication to his friend. Well done.
Dee Yoder 12/03/08
O wow, very touching and tender story. I'm so proud that our military is made up of soldiers who volunteer to go in harm's way--what an awesome sacrifice they make for their country.
Pamela Kliewer12/03/08
This story should have had a tissue warning! What a moving story.
Leah Nichols 12/03/08
Well done! A very moving piece. :)
Marlene Austin12/04/08
Beautiful story of dedication and commitment to one's promises. Thank you for writing lines which not only touch the mind but, also, move the heart. :)
Linda Watson Owen12/04/08
George, this is far more than a winner...it's a true picture of 'laying down one's life for a friend'. Such a poignant story from your very skillful pen! I too had to reach for the tissues. Congratulations!
Carole Robishaw 12/04/08
WOW! I am blurry eyed with the tears. Thank you for this story, it was really a wonderful take on the "Home for Christmas" topic.
Angela M. Baker-Bridge12/04/08
Powerful, moving, beautiful. Congratulations on a wonderful story. Hope you get it published outside of FWs.
Joanne Sher 12/05/08
Oh, George. I was NOT at ALL expecting that. I literally gasped when I realized who his friend was. I'm still fighting back tears. (Oh, and by the way, if I had read this BEFORE winners were announced, I would have invited you to masters a bit earlier than I did ;)) Just excellent.
Beth LaBuff 12/06/08
I like this, "The wait is now over, and the weights is lifted from her shoulders." What a story, wow! Excellent writing. Congratulations on receiving an EC!