The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
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Date
11/20/08
This is definitely a very creative gift. Nice story.
11/21/08
I wonder what happened to make Paul do such an about face? I feel like I'm missing a part of the story. That said, your entry is fantastic. Good plot, and I saw everything - good action words.
11/25/08
Brought a tear to my eye. Love how you ended it.
I felt the emotions from both sides of the fence were real, if not pragmatic. As I was reading I thought the brother was going to die and the loss would have been two fold, if not ironic. However, I liked the way you ended it as well, that the came to his senses, realizing the priorities in his life.
You had me hating the brother...if he hadn't changed I was going to have a face-to-face with him. Good job!
11/27/08
I love the story ... It's so touching! I particularly like the part, “It’s my turn to be there for you.” It gives a tuck at my heart. You've written very well in expressing the ultimate gift of life a sibling can offer.